>Upset about NKOTBSB? Perspective and advice.

Posted by Jessica Jewett 3 Comments »

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There has been a lot of serious hatred, screaming fits, tears and tantrums first about the New Kids on the Block merging with the Backstreet Boys for a worldwide tour, and then about the fact that the new website for NKOTB now charges a membership fee. I have seen a lot of comments about being bled for money and how they’re taking advantage of fans and so forth. Let me divulge a little something that might give a little perspective:

I am an author, which is not unlike being a musician in that you are creating a product for people. The average retail price of my published books is $22. When someone purchases one of my books, I as the author only receive between $2 and $4 of the $22, depending on which retailer sold the book. My publisher has to be repaid for the cost of printing among other things and I am the last person to get paid. If I had an agent, that person would get a percentage of my $2 to $4 profit per book. The music industry works in a very similar way with ticket sales, CD sales, merchandise, etc. When you add more people to it, the piece of the profit gets smaller and smaller.

In all of the anger I have seen lately, I would like to talk about a few other possibilities that might be factors in all of these changes. I am NOT saying these are the reasons why these things are happening. I’m saying they are possibilities that might have affected the way things are being operated right now.

Remember that the artist is always the last to get paid. We learned that from the TLC bankruptcy. The gross money earned has to pay for the tours, the traveling, the band, the crew, the dancers, the wardrobe, the videos, the studio time, the management team, etc., etc. Whatever is leftover goes to the artist. In this case, NKOTB was dividing it five ways. Now they’re dividing it nine ways. Like it or not, this is a business and the business has to pay for itself. People keep saying, “We were supposed to be a family!” The cold hard truth is, yes, they care about fans, but they have to pay for everything they do and make a profit to make it worth it for them too. TLC sold out tour, 20 mil records and only made about $70,000 each after everything was repaid to the record label, etc., for that year. It’s not as glamorous as we think. Do not mistake me. NKOTB isn’t hurting for money like TLC was, in my opinion, but this big merger has to pay for itself.

There is also another thing to consider. Think about when these dates go on sale. BSB has had paid membership to their website with presales to concerts and stuff for years. When things would have gone on sale and we all would have seen BSB fans getting presale tickets, I guarantee there would have been a huge uproar like there is right now. So it was either have an uproar over BSB getting presale without us to our collective shows or an uproar over making everything streamline between the two groups. I don’t think anybody would have been happy either way NKOTB went.

The bottom line is this new fan club thing has happened. You can join or not. I just encourage people to think about all sides of the argument before flipping out in a rage. Truthfully it’s naïve to think that this isn’t a business that has to make a profit. You can choose to be miserable or you can choose to go with the flow or not participate.

I don’t think this is the end of the world. Several people I know have had devastating news, lost loved ones and have been suffering a lot recently. When you face the deaths of people you love and you find your lives changed forever by cancer and other illnesses, as people I know have, little things like the choice to join a fan club or not really doesn’t matter. Music groups like NKOTB and BSB are around to inspire fun in people’s lives. If you’re not having fun with them anymore, then there is nothing that says you are required to be part of their scene. You can still be a fan and enjoy the music and the friends you’ve made without going bankrupt or feeling like you’re a bad fan for not doing every little thing. Nobody is holding a gun to your head. If you can’t do it or don’t want to do it anymore, then it’s perfectly okay to devote your time and energy to something else that makes you happy. In my view, devoting such negative time and energy to complaining, investing in anger, etc., is going to hurt you a lot more than anyone else. I advise finding another way to channel all of this energy that isn’t so negative.

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BSB guide for NKOTB users

Posted by Jessica Jewett 7 Comments »

Admittedly, I don’t know a lot about the Backstreet Boys since Kevin left the group, but in seeing a lot of New Kids on the Block people scratching their heads, I decided I knew enough to help. I’m interested in promoting “communication between adjoining nations” as Laurie from Little Women put it. (Leave it to me to use a nineteenth century literature reference to illustrate my point!)

In general, Backstreet Boys music is more poppy than New Kids, in my opinion. They tends to use more “real” instruments that gives them a bit more of a pop/rock sound as opposed to the R&B base to New Kids music. While they are basically the same type of music, I would wager that you would be more likely to hear Backstreet on a movie soundtrack and New Kids in a club. I wouldn’t say that one is better than the other though. It’s really just a matter of your moods and tastes at any given time. I’m told that Backstreet has more edgy music that the record label hasn’t put on any albums though. As for their voices, it is safe to say that even if you aren’t a fan yet, each guy in Backstreet has a strong ability to lead vocally. All of them sing, whereas Jordan, Joe and Donnie tend to monopolize all of the New Kids solo parts. Both groups have a vocal dynamic that work for them. My advice is to not compare one group against the other, but appreciate the talent that both have to offer in their own respects. Just as we expect Backstreet fans to learn and respect New Kids music, we should return the favor.

So now let’s meet each Backstreet Boy.

AJ McLean – 32 years old

I would describe AJ (Alexander James) as Backstreet’s equivalent to Donnie Wahlberg. As far as the “boy band formula” goes, AJ was and is pegged as the bad boy. He’s a native of Florida and I believe he has some Latino blood in him but I might be remembering that wrong. He has a taste for little dogs. I remember reading a magazine once that mentioned him having a new little puppy called Jack Daniels and he had the puppy in a play pen made for human babies. Vocally, AJ has a raspy voice but carries long notes quite well. He plays several instruments including the acoustic guitar, the saxophone, the bass guitar and the piano. He also has some theater background. For a short time, he did a solo stint as his alter-ego, British rocker, Johnny No Name. AJ has had a long battle with drugs and alcohol. He went to rehab years ago after an intervention that was led by Kevin Richardson (we’ll meet him soon). I believe he has a fiance right now but I’m not certain about that.

Brian Littrell – 35 years old

I would describe Brian as being the most like our Jordan with being more about the music and being somewhat standoffish or shy off stage. Brian is a native of Kentucky like his cousin, Kevin Richardson. He began singing in the church choir just like our own New Kids, Jon and Jordan. As a born again Christian since childhood, Brian has had a lot of solo success in the Christian music market aside from his Backstreet run. He has had a bit of scandal though because he served as a grand marshal in a gay pride parade with his bandmates, which caused several Christian stores to remove his products and stop playing his music. In my eyes, Brian is a true man of God for loving everyone. The thing I remember most about him back in the day is his heart defect. There was a hole in his heart and he had open heart surgery in the 90s. He’s very strong, vocally speaking. He sings lead a lot and he plays the acoustic guitar and the keyboards. He is married to Leighanne Wallace of Atlanta and they have a son together.

Nick Carter – 30 years old

I struggle to compare Nick with anyone in New Kids because he is… well… Nick. I suppose his mouth and attitude can be compared to our Joe and he is also a loud, sometimes nasally singer like Joe. He has a loud, crazy family that was once the subject of a reality show. He also dated Paris Hilton but we won’t hold that against him. Nick is considered “the cute one” as far as the boy band formula goes, like Jordan is stereotypically considered our cute one. Nick brings the younger more hip-hop flavor to Backstreet but he released a solo album a few years ago that I considered more pop/rock. Like AJ, Nick has struggled with drugs and alcohol. He plays the drums, bass guitar and guitar. He has also done a little bit of acting.

Howie Dorough – 37 years old

We call him Howie D or just D. Howie is the flirt, the “Latin lover”, etc. I think I would describe him as somewhat like Danny but he has some of Jon’s pickiness and some of Donnie’s charisma too. Howie is a native of Florida and he’s half-Puerto Rican and half-Irish American. He speaks fluent Spanish. Personally, I think Howie is the weakest vocally in the group, but he’s still a great singer. His start was in theater and he’s an all-around entertainer, meaning he’s a singer, dancer, songwriter and an actor. The thing I remember about him was when we met, he was sipping on hot tea with lemon. That’s his thing. He drinks a lot of hot tea to protect his vocal cords or something to that effect. I can’t remember the exact reason.

Kevin Richardson – 39 years old

While Kevin is no longer in the Backstreet Boys, I still included him in this guide because you will certainly hear talk about the glory days when the five of them were together. Kevin is universally known as the equivalent of Jon in New Kids, although they are very different men straight up and down. Kevin has done a lot of acting and modeling since he left the Backstreet Boys. He was a Versace model with Ashton Kutcher and he had several different runs in the musical Chicago among other Broadway work. He’s also a composer and very gifted on the piano. He’s Brian’s maternal first cousin and he has a wife and son. Vocally, he’s smooth and a bit on the R&B side, sort of like the way Jon sings (if you’re lucky enough to catch him singing). The thing I remember about Kevin is how tall he is (I think he’s over 6 feet) and he smelled like Mexican food when we met. I adore him. Jon was my first love and Kevin was my rebound guy.

Now that you know the basics about the Backstreet Boys, learn some of their music. Follow these links.

I Want It That Way
Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)
Drowning
Incomplete (live)
The Call
I’ll Never Break Your Heart (winter version)
Shape of My Heart (acapella)

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>NKOTB lessons for BSB fans

Posted by Jessica Jewett 4 Comments »

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Yesterday I had a bad day, so I started tweeting funny things to make myself laugh. I didn’t really think other people were going to care but it caught on and I acquired several new followers. They all told me to put the tweets in one place because they were so funny.

With the news that New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys are teaming up for a tour next year, it occurred to me that my side of things, the New Kids side, is its own culture. Outsiders couldn’t possibly understand why we yell, “Wooooo!” in Target or why we smile when we see Snuggies or ShamWows. For that reason, I started tweeting about all of the inside facets to New Kids culture as a joke to help Backstreet fans navigate our world. Here they are in no particular order, copied from my Twitter page.

About 2/3 of anything from Jon is a steaming load of bullshit.

Jordan tinks and Donnie twugs.

Do not disrespect the wind machine. Ever. Jordan girls will cut a bitch.

Donnie + umbrellas = pure awesome action comedy.

Kiss and coddle Donnie’s booboos. Giggle at Jon’s booboos and let the snark fly.

Don’t worry if Donnie starts humping you. It’s best to just be still and let him finish.

Jordan thinks of people. A lot. Trying to figure out who is like taking a stroll through his brain.

Jon and Joe are fluent in #randombutfunnyhashtags

Our stalkers are called BSCs aka bat shit crazies. Don’t make any sudden movements. Just back away slowly.

Jon hates plastic commie Christmas trees. Don’t ask. Just nod your head and give him more coffee.

Here is your copy of Band of Brothers. You are required to watch all of it. Now.

No, Jon doesn’t sing solos. It’s useless to beg. He is pretty so that makes up for it.

Donnie can’t remember names so expect to get a nickname if you see him enough. Jon just remembers faces.

Donnie is our spiritual guru. Don’t fight it. Listen to Father Cheesus and all will be well.

One of Jon’s nicknames was Jizz. I know what you’re thinking. We all did.

Don’t try to hit Jordan’s falsetto even if you are a female. It ruins our videos of him singing live.

Perez Hilton is a rat bastard. Don’t expect love from Jon if you dig that pig.

Here is your Boston to English dictionary. You’ll need it to communicate with Jon and Joe.

You better develop a taste for marshmallows. Donnie’s quite in love with his.

Jon LOVES a good chat about poop. And rats. And being unemployed.

Jon knows more about you than you think. Don’t gossip. He already spied on you.

Joe is most likely to tell you to fuck off. Then again so is Danny. It’s part of their charm.

Make fun of Jon’s freaky hobbit feet. We like to think it strokes his ego.

Ask Jon if you can see his tractah. No really. He has a big one!

Danny will shank you if you eat a cupcake in front of him.

Emergency kit: coffee, cigarettes, cupcakes, Twix, Aquahydrate and Frankenberry. You’ll be safe as a kitten with the wolves.

Jon’s lil Buddha belly has magical powers.

A lesson in Knights: Jon got all the booty and Jordan got all the chest hair. It’s a fair trade.

Have you ever fallen from a horse? No? Jon didn’t either.

Joe, Jordan and Jon look better in guyliner and manscara than you ever will.

Late night twitter fun: braiding Jon’s toe hair, slipping Donnie sleeping pills, telling Jordan what’s on tv.

1 emu, 2 emu, 3 emu… Oh no, they all died. *playing taps*

Don’t tweet Jon during Brothers & Sisters and Glee. We’re all dead to him when those shows are on.

Even tho Jordan designs shirts, fusses over shoes & watches tv with us like a sleepover, he is straight. Promise 🙂

Donnie has audio sex with us most Friday nights. We’re marketing shamwow panties.

Pretty sure Donnie didn’t bathe from 1989 thru 1992. Picasso had his blue period. Donnie had his homeless period.

God will strike you dead if you correct Jon’s spelling. You don’t want a lightening bolt up your ass.

For the millionth time, JON DOESN’T HAVE A FACEBOOK! Geez! 🙂

You may encounter the ghosts of 30 emus in Mass. Don’t panic! Just act like you don’t know Farmer Jon.

There will be a test on the lyrics to Are You Down? Embrace the cheese. Jon raps. You don’t want to miss that.

Donnie’s ass is the 6th New Kid. You either love it or you don’t. Me? *whispers* Jon’s ass is better.

If you see more than one show, expect to find green and white confetti in your purse for months. It’s a gift.

Celtics, Red Socks, Patriots, etc. No other teams are acceptable. Just pretend like you get it.

Joe will singlehandedly teach your children 400 meanings to the word fuck.

Every time someone mentions Nikko, a moment of silent reverence is mandatory.

*whispers* BSC Jon girls *still* loathe Tiffany. It’s like poking little yappy bears with sticks.

Vocabulary lesson: moobs. Man boobs. Commonly used in reference to Jordans fabulous moobs.

You’re going to want to feed Joe a sammich when you see how little he is.

A few tweets from one of them might feel like friendship but don’t confuse yourself.

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