"I'll be getting my third reading from Jessica. Can't wait!" - Grace
"She is amazing! She's read me, my husband...is doing an in depth one for me and will eventually do ones for my little boys. I can't say enough good things about her!!" - Maggie
"I highly recommend Jessica. She read for me about a year and a half ago and she was so thorough! I live in California and she was amazing!" - Erin
I wrote this blog with a fever of 101. Forgive me if some of it doesn’t flow well.
Truthfully, I don’t know where to begin with this blog. I debated on whether I should write it at all because people who weren’t there might accuse me of showing off when that isn’t my intention at all. My intention is to make people who weren’t there feel like they were part of the action along with the rest of us.
I arrived in Miami with Maryka (MMBoxy on twitter) two days before the cruise so we could have time to see Miami with Abbie (abbielicious613 on twitter). For the first cruise, I arrived the morning the ship was to leave and I didn’t get to see anything. It was too rushed. This time we stayed at the Intercontinental, which was a gorgeous hotel, and we had a room overlooking the Port of Miami (or was it Miami Port?). I’m not used to fancy hotels like that. I’m a Quality Inn, Motel 6 kind of girl when I travel for my Civil War reenacting. For you new readers, yes, I’m that kind of history geek who wears corsets and hoop skirts on weekends in the summertime. So the whole 1950s art deco vibe of Miami and South Beach was completely foreign to me. Abbie has been to Miami many times and she got a kick out of my jaw hitting the ground when I saw things like pink buildings or people shopping in bikini tops. I had my first experience with Cuban food too. It was amazing. Sex in my mouth! If you ever have the opportunity to eat real Cuban food, it is so good that it will change your entire perspective on food.
Here are some pictures of my days in Miami.
The view of the Port of Miami from my hotel room.
Me in my hotel room. Much better than Motel 6!
Me in my first Cuban restaurant. Note the tasty guy in the background.
My first taste of a fried plantain. Yummy!
I ordered shrimp cocktail as an appetizer.
This is grilled shrimp in … Cuban sauce? I can’t remember. Yummy!
The aftermath of Cuban dining for three people.
Hot and tired in front of a pretty pink building.
We got up very early the day of boarding the Destiny because I needed my hair washed. That seems like a trivial matter but I think it’s important to show how creative, inventive, loving and wonderful my friends are about my disability. I have something called Arthrogryposis (click the word to read about it). In basic terms, my body is like that of a quadriplegic. I can move and I can feel everything, so I’m not like Christopher Reeve. His quadriplegia was from an accident. Mine was caused by an unknown problem with my mother’s and father’s genetics. Normally I can’t get into a bath tub without a lot of help. Maryka came up with the idea of putting me in the wheelchair and tilting it back so that my head would be in the bath tub and we washed my hair that way. It was fast, it was easy and I had lilac scented hair in case I ran into Jon that day. He seems sensitive about smells so I usually choose perfumes and shampoos with care and I compulsively brush my teeth and chew minty things when I might see him. Silly, I know. I’m old-fashioned. A lady should smell like a lady, not a hobo or a five dollar hooker.
We got to the port early enough to see NKOTB arrive and board the ship. Jon spotted me and gave me a wave. The big news there was, “Yay, his hair is still long!” While we were waiting for the cabins to be ready, we decided to get some lunch. No sooner than we found a table, I looked at the stairs and the words, “Is that Jon?” fell out of my mouth. There he was, coming down for lunch too! Initially, I said I didn’t want to bother him but then he started hugging people in the food line. So I decided screw it, I’m going to say hi. I whipped my chair around the corner with Maryka trailing behind me and I think I almost hit Harley by accident (sorry Harley! I’m still getting used to this chair!). Jon saw me and pulled me into a good hug and said it was good to see me. We talked a little and I told him that he hasn’t seen my new chair yet, so he leaned over and started studying everything. I turned to the left like a model. I turned to the right like a model. He was fascinated and we talked about how I travel with a power chair. Then he was like, “You’re all ready. You’ve got your water shoes too.” I thought why is he commenting about my shoes until I saw at the beach party that we had the same shoes except mine had pink stripes and his had blue.
I told Jon that I wanted to get in the water on this cruise and he made this face. I know this face well. It’s the face someone makes when they think I can’t do something but they’re too polite to say so. Here’s the thing. I was iffy about getting in the water until Jon made that face. When he did that, something in me kicked into overdrive and I knew I had to prove it that I could do anything that he could do. I hate the face of doubt and I thoroughly enjoy proving people wrong. I especially hate it when Jon doubts me because it means he doesn’t think I can be just like everybody else. I can. I had to prove it to him.
The cabin was fabulous. It was a wheelchair accessible cabin and I could even get into the bathroom, which is a luxury for me when I travel. Carnival really knows what they’re doing when it comes to passengers in wheelchairs. Here are some pictures of the cabin before we went to the Sail Away Party.
Me watching NKTV in my cabin.
Sissy busted me watching NKTV all paparazzi style!
When we got out to the lido deck for the Sail Away Party, we found out that there was a roped off area to the side of the pools but still involved with the crowds for wheelchairs. I don’t know who’s idea it was but THANK YOU if you’re reading my little blog. There were too many instances on the first cruise in which I was pushed, shoved and trampled by overzealous fans but I felt well-protected on this cruise. The spot roped off for us was watched by security, it was safe, yet we could still be part of the festivities. My cruise experience was so much better because of the roped off space where I could go to feel safe. There were only a few girls who tried to invade in order to pounce on one of the guys but we kicked them out whenever they tried to climb over wheelchairs. We were not looking for extra perks. We were simply looking to be protected from the mobs because we can’t defend ourselves. It was accomplished. By and large, the fans were respectful and understood that we needed space. I want everybody to know how grateful I am that the majority of people were understanding and patient with disabled cruisers.
Here are some pictures of my view of the Sail Away Party.
Me in the disabled section.
This is one of my best friends, Sissy, who is SissyHand on twitter.
This is another one of my best friends, Maryka, who is MMBoxy on twitter.
My dark Knights.
My dark Knights with a side of Wood.
Somebody’s been working out. Hashtag, just sayin’.
Knight pecks, McIntyre arms and Wahlberg essence.
Praise the Jord.
Does he know how adorkable he is?
Look over here! Don’t make me flash you!
As soon as the guys came down into the crowd, we had the opportunity to say hello. I remember Jordan came down, went to me for a good Knight hug and we chatted a little. We have had this issue for the last two years, whether it’s bashfulness or something else, of not being able to get past, “Hi, how are you?” So while he was hugging me and talking in my ear, we did the usual, “Hi, how are you?” and then he paused and I felt him smirk against my cheek. He then said, “Are you having a good time?” I said, “Yeah, are you?” and he said, “Yep, I am.” He pulled away smiling. We finally got past our awkward foot shuffling and glancing. I pretty much love Jordan endlessly. He still intimidates me though. He represents that ideal beautiful man that I could never hope to call my own. Pictures of my Jordan encounter.
Omfg, he’s coming down the stairs!
Moobs. I love moobs.
Way to get right in front of me! That’s why I was giggling. He’s adorable.
Donnie came down my stairwell too. He moves very fast but he stopped for us and asked us how we were doing and such things like that. Donnie always kisses my forehead. I see him being more sexual with other fans but he’s never been sexual with me. I’m okay with that. I find aggressive men to be a little scary. I’m not used to it. Donnie seems to intuitively know how to approach me. Pictures of us.
Yay! It’s Donnie!
I love this man. My heart bursts.
After the Sail Away Party, we went to dinner and then got ready for 80s night. So here’s the thing. I live with gay men. I had a big obnoxious headband that I was going to wear but a week before the cruise, one of my gays was playing with my hair things and walked off with it. I didn’t really do 80s night other than a side ponytail and a ton of makeup. A selection of pictures.
This is our game show front row posse. Me, Di (di181 on twitter), Sissy and Abbie. Some of my best friends.
80s fabulocity with Sissy, me and Eliza (elizap77 on twitter).
Sissy got video of us at the game show before it started. She was trying to get me to sing. I’m like Jon. I won’t sing unless someone is singing with me. Abbie came to my rescue. Take a look.
The seats I had for the shows were amazing. We even ended up seated with Abbie, Di, Katy and Irma, who were not even on our floor. It was beautiful serendipity! The game show was hilarious. When Jon had to suck M&Ms through a straw or whatever it was, I yelled, “I can do that!” He used his hand to hold onto the straw. Amateur! Although he did manage to suck M&Ms while having a mint or something in his mouth at the same time. He was rather proud of himself but I yelled that I could do that too. Hahaha! I use my mouth every day instead of my hands. I could have won that dare! Here are some pictures. Yes, I requested Jon’s booty. Sorry. It’s just so…. well, you know.
Epic.
More epic.
The hair! The hair! I will weep if he cuts it.
My favorite men on the planet.
*facepalm* Joseph…
*grab grab grab grab*
Even sideways I’m a booty girl. Sorry Jon.
Those glasses are kind of gay. đŸ™‚
I think this was Jon knowing the answer of what a pleasure place or something was. Kinky bastid.
I don’t think this needs a caption. It’s exactly what it looks like. Ha!
His marshmallow has magical balloon popping powers.
He speaks! Speak again, bright angel!
I don’t know who’s purse this was but Donnie and Jon stole her smokes and lipgloss. Ha!
After the game show, I went out to the lido deck for the 80s party. I was pretty much praying to the 80s gods beforehand that Jon would follow my advice about the big hair, the vest, the rolled jeans, the loafers, etc. I was fully prepared to chase him down and knock him over if he didn’t wear a vest. When they came out and he was wearing exactly what I wanted, I screamed so loud that my voice broke and hasn’t fully recovered yet. And then they busted out the old choreography! We need to go to video for this one.
Awesome, right? I also got a little Joe time on 80s night. He was on his way upstairs, locked eyes with me, came back down and said, “Hey baby,” as he pulled me into a hug. Then he went around and hugged everyone else in the wheelchair section.
Joseph.
Hey baby.
The next day was the beach party at Half Moon Cay. This was the day I was most nervous about because my chair does not do sand and I was terrified of being left behind. Much to my surprise, I was given priority on the tenders so I was one of the first people off the ship that morning after the crew and stuff. People from Rose Tours were very helpful and explained everything very well so that there was no confusion and we were safely transported. There was a brick path all the way from the tender to the pirate ship where the beach party was held and wheelchairs were put up on the pirate ship not far from the DJ. We saw the concert and games from the back but I would rather do that than be stuck out in the sand. Several people passed out from the heat. It was no joke out there.
I have heard people complaining that the concert wasn’t really a concert. It is what it is and can’t be changed now but I would never want to see our guys put on a full show in that heat when people were passing out while doing much less activity. I understand the desire to see them perform but I find it a little ridiculous to make them put on a full show and pass out too. They are performers but they are human beings too and they were all exhausted before they even got to the cruise. I do think that a beach concert was not the greatest idea but the theaters on the ship were not big enough for all of us and they were too exhausted to put on multiple shows along with everything else. They’re not robots. Like Abbie said, “I was on a boat with New Kids on the Block. I have no complaints.”
Since I was marooned on the pirate ship, I expected no time with the guys. I was more concerned with not becoming another victim of heat stroke. They were taking breaks inside the pirate ship though and Donnie came over to the wheelchairs to see how we were doing. He kissed me on the forehead and asked how I was and I asked how he was. He talked about how tired he was and I kind of chastised him for not taking better care of himself. As always, he smiled and turned the conversation back to me. I said, “You look good today even though you’re tired,” and he looked me over and said, “YOU look good.” Yeah. I blushed.
My view of the concert. I watched it through the guys’ eyes.
Donnie talking to me.
You can see me to the right of Jordan’s leg!
I can’t believe I showed this much skin to Donnie and Jon. *blushes*
Sissy doing her best Kim Kardashian.
My sweet Sissy and Maryka.
Donnie even made a point of squirting the wheelchair section with the water gun. He knew how hot everybody was. They all knew. Before the concert, Jon apparently spotted Sissy from inside the pirate ship bar and told his bodyguard to hold on a minute. He sneaked up behind me and played with my hair like he was playing a piano. I thought it was Sissy but I turned around to be greeted by Jon’s sweet smile. I asked how he was doing and his response was not about himself but concern for everybody baking on the beach. He was more concerned about the cruisers than himself. As he was leaving, he bent over so I could kiss him and then he went out to do the show. Later there were beads tossed into the crowd and Di told me that Jon was aiming for cleavage and laughing, which I couldn’t see because I was behind the stage. He walked over to the back of the stage to throw me some beads and Sissy in her pretty pink bikini yelled, “Jon!” and jiggled her boobs at him like it was Mardi Gras. It was hilarious! By the way, Jon, your beads melted on me and turned my skin bright orange.
We left Half Moon Cay after the games because we had been there since the morning. We were hot, thoroughly baked, exhausted, etc. Dinner in the dining room never happened that night because we all went to bed until it was time for the toga/pajama party that night. I chose to forego the toga so I could wear the jersey that Jon gave me for my 28th birthday. It was long on him but it was basically a dress on me. It went past my knees. I never felt so small in my life. Sissy was too sick to come out that night so Maryka and I went by ourselves. We basically all know what the toga party was like with the introductions and the Roman names like Anus the Great and Climaximus. I don’t have pictures of that night yet! Oh well!
The next day was the day that we were docked at Nassau. We were so worn out that we decided not to get off the ship, especially since we had already seen Nassau before. Our only plan was to eat, drink, and be merry by the pool. We set up deck chairs off to the side of the pool and laid out for quite a while. At one point, Sissy got up and waded into the water. I looked at the pool and remembered the look of doubt in Jon’s eyes on the first day and I thought to myself, “If I don’t do this now, I’m never going to do it.” I’m really afraid of water and I chickened out about getting in the ocean but I decided I needed to put my big girl panties on and get in the pool. It Maryka, Sissy, Michelle, Diane, Chris and I’m sure I’m forgetting a few but they picked up my deck chair and took it to the pool and from there, they transferred me into the water.
About two minutes later, Sissy started jumping up and down and waving her arms and yelling. I was like what the hell is she doing? Later she told me that she was yelling, “Donnie! Jessica’s in the pool!” and his face became stunned. All the sudden Donnie’s head pops up over the pool wall and his face spread into a massive smile. He was like, “Look at you swimming around! How does it feel?” He was so excited that I was in the pool that he climbed over the wall and sat on the edge with me for a few minutes. There were four people holding onto me because the ship was rocking and he was just sitting there smiling and watching us. Finally he took a sip of his wine and said, “You guys are so fucking cool.” We chatted a little more and I told him that I told Jon in the food line on the first day that I was going to swim and he made a worried face like he didn’t believe I could do it and Donnie and Earl were both like, “We’re gonna tell him all about this. He’ll know.” Then we took some pictures with me in the pool and Donnie sitting on the edge. He moved on and I got out of the pool. I thought that was my one big Donnie encounter. That was enough really. I expected nothing more. Here are some pictures. I don’t have all of them yet but you get the idea.
Lounge lizard.
In the pool right before Donnie arrived.
He was so happy!
The pool wore me out.
That night at the deck party, Donnie came down the stairs to hug and kiss the people in the disabled section and as he passed me on the way, he caressed my cheek and winked. I watched him walk around talking to everybody else and I stood out of the way because there were people who hadn’t met him yet. On his way back to the stairs, he stopped, touched me very gently, kissed my face and said, “I’m so proud of you.” He walked away and it started to sink in and I started crying. People in my family don’t offer praise of that nature very much. I’m used to being very tough but Donnie taking off his sunglasses, looking at me like I was important to him and saying those words made me totally crumble. It took a good ten minutes to pull myself back together again. Here are some pictures of pink night.
This is my Abbie. She’s a crusader for Komen, the homeless, and anyone in need.
Pink glow.
My beautiful Sissy.
Meet Jon’s herd of hobbits. Katy, Di, Sissy and me. We’re tiny and feisty.
I have to say that pink night really was magical. I don’t think Danny expected such a huge show of support because he got emotional. He said that it was the best birthday of his life. Everybody sang, danced and drank until the wee hours of the morning. I saw Abbie tear up several times because she does a lot of work with Komen and it was all more than anybody ever expected. People docked on the ship next to us were even up on their decks partying and dancing to our music. It was unforgettable.
The next day was the photo op and as soon as I came into the room, Jon didn’t even say hi before he was grinning and trying to say, “I heard you went swimming yesterday.” His voice was completely gone and he was rubbing his throat trying to talk to me. All five of them were clearly …. I don’t know what the right word is …. touched? emotional? moved? that I managed to get in the pool. I was kind of taken aback by it but even big tough Earl was talking to me about it and being protective of me at the deck parties. Every time he walked by, he smiled and stroked my cheek. Even that Johnny guy was doing it too. I didn’t know me getting in the pool would make that kind of impression on them. Maybe it was me looking so relieved that I could get in the pool without freaking out. I don’t know. I truthfully didn’t expect people to react the way they did. I wasn’t looking for attention or anything. I was just trying to overcome my fears and Donnie happened to show up and help me through it. My only regret is that Jon wasn’t there to see it since – to borrow a Southern expression – he was the one who lit a fire under my butt.
The only bad part about the cruise was the mess that was D-Dub’s Back Rub. There were only 250 available seats and hundreds of people showed up hoping to get wristbands. People started to get violent and the mob shoved their way forward. I was almost trampled. I don’t understand why people have to push and shove and get violent when it’s obvious that they’re not going to get inside without a wristband. I started to go into a panic attack and I was pulled out of the line along with my friend Amy (AmesDancesInATL on twitter) who had a very serious panic attack. If people had been patient and orderly, no one would have gotten hurt. I kept saying, “It’s only a show! Relax!” I got inside though and they put me in the front off to the side with Johnny and Kevin. I didn’t get rubbed by the Dub but I truthfully don’t think Donnie feels like he can be “that way” with me. He’s different toward me. It’s a softer kindness, not an aggressive flirtation. I’m okay with that.
Can I just say how beautiful it was to witness Danny’s acoustic performance? I didn’t really have much exposure to his music before but let me tell you – everybody that I could see had tears streaming down their faces. We gave Danny a standing ovation after his first song and even he got emotional. Abbie cried through the whole thing and I was okay until I tried to understand her feelings. I thought to myself, “What if it was Jon?” Yeah. I would have been a front row weepy mess if Jon did any kind of solo performing. I understood Abbie then and I got very choked up too.
This is a lovely man with a deep heart.
Joseph in his bird cage.
Red carpet night was my favorite night. I had a carefully chosen dress that was green and glittery, which reminded me of a mermaid. I have a thing for mermaids. My friends call me Ariel because I have long Disney red hair like her. I kept telling my friends all day that I was dying to get a picture with Jon in his tuxedo. I’m a believer that if you put your wishes out into the universe, they’ll come true, so I articulated that wish several times throughout the day. They came out looking tasty as usual and Jon saw me and waved.
It wasn’t long before he gave a signal that he was going to come downstairs and I plowed over Sissy and Maryka to get to the bottom of the stairs before that space got swamped. I was determined to see that man up close in his tux! He came right to me and pulled me into a hug and a kiss. The first thing he wanted to know was if I went swimming that day and I said no because my body was just so worn out and I had a pressure sore on the back of my leg. We talked a little more and I was afraid he was going to leave so I said, “Can I please, please, please get a picture with you?” He smiled big and said, “Yes, yes, yes!” and we squished up together for our picture. Problem! Sissy’s camera was stuck on zoom! Jon took the camera from Sissy and started pushing all the buttons. Finally, he was like, “Your camera’s broken!” Maryka came to the rescue and took a picture with her camera, which I don’t have yet. I kissed him again and he was trying to get around to other people but it was really crowded. He grabbed my chair and climbed over my lap and started laughing. I didn’t hear all of it but he made a joke about falling in my lap, jamming the joystick, spinning around and throwing me into the hot tub. That really tickled him. I kept trying to back out of his way so he could see other people and I squished Sissy in the process. Sorry Sissy. Jon is a lot bigger than me and I didn’t want him to trip on me. He talked to us a little more before he went back upstairs. I was happy as a clam that I got my Jon tuxedo time and I went to bed after that. Here are some pictures.
My best friends, Sissy and Maryka.
Someone got us all paparazzi style!
*whispers* He’s touching me. *dead*
The “your camera’s broken!” zoomed in picture. Maryka has the other picture. Don’t look at me. I’m awful.
Jon talking to me. I’m a hobbit. You can’t see me.
I think he was talking to another fan and glanced at me so a picture was snapped.
More paparazzi action.
He’s messing with Sissy’s camera.
Jon talking to a lovely fan in the disabled section.
I’m home now. What can I say about this cruise? It was a four-day party, but really, it was so much more than that to me. I bonded with Donnie and Jon in wonderful ways and I became so much closer to my friends. Nobody made me feel like “that girl in a wheelchair” and that was the best gift. True, I probably overdid it because I developed a pressure sore on the back of my thigh, I’m so sunburned that I can’t wear shorts right now, and somebody gave me some kind of virus because I have a fever and terrible congestion, but would I do it all again? Absolutely. The entire cruise was worth it just to bond with my friends and have Donnie and Jon be so thrilled that I overcame my fear of water to swim. This cruise was so much more emotional than my first cruise. We have a bond as fans with NKOTB that cannot be broken. I’m convinced that no other band on the planet cares about their fans as much as Donnie, Jon, Jordan, Danny and Joe do. There were several times when I just wanted to hug each of them and say, “You have such a bright, beautiful soul.” I will never forget my time with these guys. They have made me experience life in ways that I never could have imagined. I don’t know if I will ever be able to return the favor but I hope they know how much I love them.
My mother took this picture the day I got home. My dog came running outside to greet me like I had been gone for a year and I crawled straight into bed. Daisy always tilts her head when I watch videos of Jon on YouTube. She’s a little Jon girl, so I put the beads he gave me on her.
I love you, Jon. I love you, Donnie. I’ll see you at Fenway and we’ll hug it out. It’s my one and only meet and greet for this tour, so y’all better love up on me while you can. I already miss Maryka, Sissy, Abbie, Di, Katy, Chris, Michelle, and so forth like I miss family. When I think of everything they did to make me feel included in everything for the cruise, it makes my heart explode with love. I know Donnie and Jon aren’t my friends but I love them like they are, whether that’s right or wrong. They encourage me to stretch myself and try new things even though they might not be aware of it. My hope is that I can show up at concerts and events and be a calming, positive influence on them. There is so much drama and they work so hard. I just want to help them like they help me.
Paris, the motherland, is already in 2011. This picture isn’t from tonight but I like it anyway. It’s strange to think that half the world is already in a whole new year while the other half still exists in the previous year.
I didn’t accomplish all of the goals I set for myself in 2009 going into 2010, but on the other hand, I accomplished a lot that I didn’t think possible for myself. I had wanted to publish another book but I decided rushing myself wasn’t going to work. I don’t want to publish a poorly written book just to check off a New Year’s resolution. I have several books in the works though. My novel about the French Revolution is in its second draft and probably the closest to being finished. The sequel to From the Darkness Risen is progressing fairly well too. At some point, I plan to release an expanded special edition of Unveiled: Fanny Chamberlain Reincarnated because there is more than enough material and interest to re-release such a book. I have a few new books that I never anticipated beginning either but when the muse moves me, I tend to follow its lead. Certainly there will be a book published in 2011 but as I said, I’m more concerned with publishing good material than fulfilling resolutions.
There are several personal things I hope to accomplish in 2011 as well. These things have to do with better management of my energy and time. I have fatigue issues that were new in 2010 and I find myself unable to go at the constant pace that I prefer. Something is forcing me to slow down. Oil painting is another thing I hope to fill 2011 with and I have a lot of ideas in my head. Painting is actually a calming activity that helps me focus. I thought it would fry my nerves but it’s actually quite the opposite. It’s comforting.
Of course 2011 is going to bring more traveling and gathering with my friends, beginning next month. A bunch of my friends are getting together for a double birthday dinner for my friend Gretchen and me. Then in May, I’m going on a cruise with Sissy, Dena, Maryka, and basically everybody else. After that, in June, I’m going to New York with Abbie, Di, Katy and others. I would like to go to Gettysburg again too but I’m not sure if that will work out since I’m facing the prospect of major surgery this year. I will practically need a construction worker to rebuild the sorry excuses for feet I got in this life. I’m hoping I can take care of this problem after my traveling so I can recover into next winter when I’m not doing anything of interest.
What about you? How was your 2010? What are your hopes for 2011?
Two years ago today, I saw my first NKOTB show and met Jon for the time. I wrote this blog the day after the show. I sound so different back then – so naive and clueless. Have a read!
The story of how I met Jonathan started Friday in Denver when one of my friends met him. Again, he was given a printed copy of the blog I wrote about how he changed my life (see the very first blog on my page). She told me (while I was sitting in the Salt Lake airport waiting for my wheelchair) that he remembered that someone else had given him that blog about two weeks before and he said, “Oh yeah, I know who she is,” and he told the friend that he had read my profile. I don’t remember if she said that he had read any blogs or not because as soon as she quoted him as saying, “Oh yeah, I know who she is,” it was like I went into a daze and I was trying to look composed because a United Airlines employee was about four feet away from me. She told me that he said I should find Robo or Zach, but try to find Zach more, and tell them my name and that I could get in to see him. I found out all of this only twenty minutes after landing in Salt Lake.
So we hurried through the airport and right as we got outside, the shuttle for our hotel showed up. It was fate, I’m telling you. There were two other girls in the shuttle who were going to the concert too. I was getting texts from Megan about where to go and stuff like that and we got to the buses by 2:30. Apparently, Robo had been outside about ten minutes before Megan got there and then they saw Donnie leave in a white van with a girl that he had been seen with at the Cracker Barrel earlier that morning. NKOTB fans really should work for the CIA.
My first Jonathan sighting happened about ten or twenty minutes after I got to the gates where the buses were parked. I’m 90% sure it was him. Most of the fans were on the other side of the bus bay where the gates were open but Megan, a few girls and I were on the back side of the buses where there weren’t so many people. We were very close to the back ends of Donnie/Danny’s bus, Joe’s bus and someone else’s bus. Jonathan and Jordan’s bus was on the other side parked perpendicular to those buses so we couldn’t really see much of it except the top of it. Well, I was talking to Megan and I happened to look between the buses. I saw a guy in skinny jeans, gray hooded sweatshirt pulled over his head, sunglasses and holding a see-thru Starbucks cup with that creamy colored iced coffee stuff he drinks. He was walking in wide strides, hurried, looking down at the pavement and he was walking from the direction of Jonathan’s bus to what I learned later was the crew/band/special people entrance in the back of the building. The way he was walking was very Jonathan with the wide, quick strides. I didn’t yell out to him because he had his hood pulled up and his sunglasses on, which is his “I don’t want to be hounded right now” look. I respect that. I took the signal.
A little bit later, I decided to go around to the other gate to see if I could get a better view of Jonathan’s bus. The gate was wide open with two old guys guarding it, which I found to be pretty funny. Before I even got to the other gate, this girl started jumping up and down and yelling, “Jessica! Jessica Jones, JonGirl since 1988!” I think a few other girls were yelling it too but I honestly don’t know who they were other than they know me from this community. They were asking me if I had met Jonathan yet and I said no but I relayed the story about seeing a gray hoodie guy in skinny jeans that I thought was him. Then one of the old security guys told me politely that the road had to be kept clear and I couldn’t get up on the grassy hill with the other girls, so I went back to Megan’s side with the back of the buses.
It was lucky that I went back because Robo sauntered outside a bit later for a smoke, I guess, and Megan approached him for me. I was not able to get over my own shyness so she started the conversation for me. I told him about what Jonathan had told my friend the previous night and he said, “Well, he [Jonathan] is in a meeting right now but I’ll ask him about you. If he responds, we’ll take care of you.” It was something close to that effect. I asked if he knew my name, just to make sure he was giving Jonathan the right name, and he said, “Jessica….” and I said, “Jones,” and he said, “Okay, like Jessica Simpson but Jones.” Something told me he was going to forget because he looked pretty distracted and even said that he had a lot of things to do but I did not push him. Ladies, don’t push Robo. If you are calm and show respect, he will be friendly with you and try to help you. I got two pictures of me with Robo.
I waited around until the meet and greet line started forming but I didn’t think anything was going to happen for me, so I went back to the hotel to warm up because I was freezing. Teri and I agreed to meet up with her friend for dinner at Applebee’s, which was really fun. After I calmed down. The restaurant was so crowded and I was frustrated that there appeared to be some breakdown in communication of trying to tell Jonathan that I was there. I started tensing up in the restaurant and warning signs of a panic attack were starting to appear. I did regain control by the time Teri and her friend got there though. I love them so much. They were a lot of fun and we sat there chitchatting about Jonathan over dinner. Our waiter knew we were going to the concert and he started singing Hangin’ Tough as we were getting ready to leave. That was pretty awesome.
We went to the venue and got a look at my seats. I was put in section 118, which is like the back of the arena. Teri and I were like, “No, let’s go over to 123,” where her seats were. That section was a bit closer and further on Jonathan’s side. Security in the upper level of the arena was non-existant. We were never asked for tickets and none of us sat where we were assigned. All of the security was down on the floor where the crazies were trying to jump the barricades, which was almost as entertaining as the show itself.
Lady Gaga.
Whatever. Bring on Jonathan.
Natasha Beddingfield.
Meh. Okay. Bring on Jonathan.
When our boys finally started their show, I can’t really explain how it felt. The “15 years ago…” bit played on the screen and I thought, “Wow, this is really happening.” The guys started rising from the stage and the arena was so loud that I couldn’t hear my mother right next to me. I couldn’t see Jonathan at first due to a column of smoke in my line of vision but then the smoke started disspating and his black silhouette bobbing to the music came into view. He was right there, flesh and blood. It was so overwhelming to me that I teared up and I don’t think anybody else saw it, but as I was watching him dance to Single, I had a flashback of begging and pleading to see the Magic Summer tour. We were too poor back then, but there I was last night, watching Jonathan live and in person. Teri came up behind me so I could look through her binoculars and get a better view of him. It was very overwhelming, the whole thing, and I went back and forth from singing and yelling to tearing up and getting emotional sometimes because I honestly couldn’t believe how blessed I was to have this opportunity.
I made sure I saw everything I wanted to see. The thrusty at the beginning of The Right Stuff was in full effect (grin), the … um … grabby grabby (grin), the many like that poses – which, by the way, was sometimes the only way I could pick him out when they were all in white – the booty shaking on the jumbo screen, etc. I just sort of let myself be a sponge and soaked it all in while I could. My mother took off with the camera before Grown Man, determined to get closer for some pictures because he kept coming to our side of the stage. She got all the way down to the front, almost to the floor, and got some great pictures. When the show was over, she commented that, “I saw that he tends to keep his head up but his eyes on the floor a lot,” and I said yeah but I don’t know the reason beyond speculation.
I need to say that I have a newfound respect for how hard they work. The show is fast-paced but it’s not distracting from the music. I’m very impressed with what kind of live performers they are because so many groups and bands sound good on CDs but terrible on stage. Jordan and Joe in particular, in my opinion, sound better live than on CDs. They have amazing vocal ranges. The harmonies sounded on point and effortless, which is also what sets NKOTB apart from other groups in my opinion. I barely made it through Baby I Believe In You without having dirty non-Jon thoughts but I reminded myself that Jordan is Baby Bro and married at that, and all was well again. My mother, however, took pictures. She’s a groupie.
As soon as the show was over, Teri said we should go down to the floor and see if we could find Robo or Zach. I was skeptical but I knew I had to try everything. We went down to the floor as the crew was taking apart the stage and Teri was asking ushers where the NKOTB people were (God bless her because I was too scared to approach strangers myself). Nobody was stopping us for tickets. Nobody was turning us away. The first usher said they went off through the right side down a long corridor that started behind the stage. I thought for sure we were going to get turned away. We cut across the floor between the first and second rows – Teri was shoving folding chairs aside, we were dodging cleaning people, spilled beer everywhere, stage pieces flying overhead, cables, ramps, etc. It was very eerie. We got to the right side of the stage and an usher stopped Teri. She asked if he knew where Zach or Robo was and I thought for sure we were going to get turned away right there. But the usher went to look for Zach and we went to the entrance of the deeper backstage area! We were literally by the “NKOTB Pyro Room” behind the stage watching the crew disassemble the stage and take it out to the trucks. Teri talked to Zach for me and I didn’t hear everything that was said but Zach asked for my name like three times and then took off into deeper backstage to find Jonathan.
At this point we were alone among the crew. We stayed out of the way as Zach had instructed. My memory gets a little foggy here because I could feel myself freezing up and starting to panic. I don’t know if Teri was joking or if she saw me tensing up but she asked, “Are you breathing?” I kind of laughed and said, “No,” and her friend was telling me to breathe because it would do no good to pass out before he got there. So Robo showed up just then and I don’t remember what was said exactly but I think Teri told him that Zach went looking for Jonathan. Robo shook his head and said he wasn’t in the building, that he had just taken him out to the bus. I think he said hold on or something and he went after Zach. So we had Zach after Jonathan and Robo after Zach.
I’m not sure how much time went by. We were standing around talking and watching the crew disassemble the stage some more because it really was pretty interesting. I remember this part very clearly. I was talking to Teri, who was on my right in front of me, and behind her, I noticed a pair of legs walking a few yards behind her. I’m short so I see legs first most of the time. I thought the legs belonged to someone on the crew because those legs were walking in wide, quick strides, and the crew was moving fast too. I clearly remember thinking, “Geez, that guy has long legs.”
The legs went past Teri and stopped. I looked up and saw a big, bright smile and a man sort of pointing at me like he recognized me. Jonathan recognized me before I recognized him. How is that for irony? It took me a second but I went into autopilot, smiled as big as he was smiling, and I said, “Hey!” He strode directly to me, bypassed Teri and her friend, and pulled me into a hug for a long moment as he said in my ear, “Hey, it’s nice to meet you,” in an endearing, sweet kind of way. I honestly don’t remember what I said because I just got pulled into this hug. His face was up against mine and I thought, “His face is so cold!” and he was wearing a poofy coat. I almost got a mouthful of coat, really, if he had hugged any tighter. It wasn’t one of those bear hugs I read about but I got skin-to-stubble contact and his arm was fully around me. When he pulled back, he patted his coat and sort of said apologetically that he was all smoky, which he did smell like smoke. He gave quick hugs to Teri, her friend, and then he stepped around my chair to get to my mother, who proudly announced, “Hi, I’m the mom,” and he chuckled.
He came back to me, smiling, and I couldn’t resist what I said because it was the most surreal thing for me to see Jonathan hug my mother. I smiled and I said, “She’s the one that grounded me for putting up posters of you in my bedroom.” He laughed and then he gave my mother the stink eye and pointed an accusing finger at her as he said, “Ooooo…” like oooooo that wasn’t nice. We laughed and then he said something to the effect of that the other guys had already showered and gone through, and that he was always the last and late (he was saying this as he was backing up) and he was making washing motions. He kind of waved and it was very clear that he was in a big hurry, so I let him go without asking for anything else (no picture, no kiss).
Robo came back a minute later and asked if I was comfortable now and I said yes. He said he would take us outside to make sure we didn’t get hit or anything, so he led us down the corridor to the crew/band/special people entrance thing in the bay of buses. We went out the same way NKOTB did and I saw the crowd of girls. At that point it started to hit me what just happened and a couple of tears came as we were walking between the buses. Some of them were yelling at me, “Did you meet him?!” and I said yes and most of them started yelling and cheering.
We said goodbye to Teri and her friend, and we walked back to the hotel. I was told tonight that the buses left about twenty minutes after that and that I was the only one that Jonathan really made a point to see that night.
That is my close encounter of the Jonathan kind. I do not recommend asking ushers for these favors and such. Do not get any ideas from what I did because these people are extremely busy and have very little time. Please, please don’t get pushy with Robo or Zach because they have a lot of responsibilities and begging or craziness won’t get you anywhere. Be respectful and calm if you encounter them. I only did what I did because the message was relayed to me from Jonathan that I should talk to Robo and Zach. Otherwise I would not have gone backstage like that without a pass. Security was nil in Salt Lake, really.
P.S. I heard from Megan, who had the meet and greet in Salt Lake. Apparently it seems Jonathan forgot my name and that was why I didn’t get into the meet and greet. I forgot that he is prone to doing that. He has a history of pointing at people and saying, “Where do I know you from?” so he remembers experiences and faces more than names. Megan said she told him I was out there yesterday and he said he didn’t know my name. I wrote back to her and told her that I suspected that might have happened because he meets 600+ people a day, he has a lot of responsibilities, etc., so it’s not at all shocking that my name fell out of his head. He would have remembered the blog more than the name because he had remembered the blog from almost two weeks before. When I saw him though, there was recognition in his face. I do think he remembered.
To Jonathan — I cannot thank you enough for taking a minute to see me. I waited twenty years for that and I had the best time last night. You are a man who is true to his word and my respect and love for you is endless. Thank you.
I wrote this blog with a fever of 101. Forgive me if some of it doesn’t flow well.
