Trump, Puritans, and Defending Myself from Males in 11th Grade Through Adulthood

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Donald Trump, Jessica JewettUnless you’re living under a rock, you know that footage of Donald Trump and Billy Bush discussing women in demeaning ways that glorified assault was released today.

In response, Trump released this statement: “This was locker room banter, a private conversation that took place many years ago. Bill Clinton has said far worse to me on the golf course – not even close. I apologize if anyone was offended.”

From my point of view? Trump’s non-apology for his repetitive deplorable behavior toward women carries no weight with me. Let’s not forget or ignore that Billy Bush is just as guilty and blood kin to the Bush dynasty. In other words, he should have known better about microphones and cameras being all around them. Saying he was young carries no weight with me either because both of these men were grown adults with fully formed concepts of morality, right, and wrong. Bigger than that, these men should have known better about how to behave toward fellow human beings.

Our truest souls are unveiled when we think nobody is watching.

The bottom line here, setting the entire political landscape aside, Donald Trump has a long history of treating women and minorities like trash. You can defend him until you’re blue in the face but the fact is you are nothing to this creature unless you’re a rich, white, male.

Today, I expressed my anger over Trump’s and Bush’s behavior (more angry at Trump because this is a repetitive pattern with him). A few of the many comments I got in return:

  • “Hillary is a lesbian.”
  • “Why not discuss Bill’s oral sex?”
  • “So what? The problem is people in America get ass hurt over words. What we need is a good ole fashion ass whoopens [sic] then your ass will have a reason to hurt!”
  • “So what, godamn prudes … bunch of puritan’s, how pathetic…” [sic]
  • “You’re the only one that seems to give a shit.”
  • “We live in a very corrupt culture right now ~~ unfortunately, this attitude is more common than maybe we would like to believe. It’s a sad commentary on our culture, but this is what happens when you take Christianity out of it ~~ it degenerates and becomes foul. Immorality of all kinds is killing this country, and killing people, literally, in abortions, STDs, and destroyed marriages and families. We are really desperately in of a revival ~!” [sic]
  • And a rather lengthy, convoluted post about the evils of Planned Parenthood that literally had nothing to do with what Trump did.

Yes, I can provide screen shots if anyone doesn’t believe the feedback I’ve gotten from Trump supporters.

Okay. Let’s talk.

Let’s say a guy gets away with sexual assault for a long time and then he gets arrested. No judge or jury would ever render a not guilty verdict with the defense of, “Well, my friend assaulted women too and worse than I did!” Saying, “That other guy did it too,” doesn’t make a person innocent. That’s not a defense. That’s gaslighting and misdirection. Guilt still exists. If you’re unclear, here’s the definition of gaslighting: “gas·light – /??asl?t/ – verb – gerund or present participle: gaslighting. To manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.” Every time a person avoids a direct issue by pointing out the same or a similar issue in other people without expressing personal accountability, it’s gaslighting. Politics is rife with that kind of thing but I’ve never seen it so thoroughly mastered in my lifetime (I’m 34) as the level of Trump’s mastery. His supporters have developed the same mastery by some sort of bizarre osmosis and none of them who I encountered today denounced his behavior directly; instead, they pointed out all of the wrongs in the Clinton camp.

Of course, I’m no big fan of the Clintons either. Do not mistake me. The bitter taste of Trump rhetoric in my mouth certainly does not equate my support of the Clinton camp, which seems to be the general assumption. Hillary will get my vote only because the thought of a Trump administration terrifies me more. People need to stop assuming my disgust with Trump amounts to liking the Clintons. Today I’m literally discussing this Trump incident. I’d like to see people try to hold him accountable for his actions without attacking other people to try and make him look better. I distrust the Clintons. I loathe Trump. One is not related to the other.

But I’m getting off topic.

One particular quote from the Trump video reveals him saying, “When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.” Go watch it. He really said that, which is the same as (yes, it is) laughing and high-fiveing over a sexual assault scenario. Those who said I was a prude today are the same type of men who say, “She had it coming,” if a woman in a short skirt gets assaulted. I’ve had very personal experiences with these kinds of men.

Let me tell you a story.

In 11th grade, I was being followed by a boy in a crowded hallway who was tugging on my hair and generally trying to get a reaction, which I never gave him. This was a very tall boy and he was on one of the sports teams. Being ignored didn’t sit well with him. I heard snickering behind me as I made my way through the crowd and then a giant hand reached around from behind and grabbed my breast. The thing is I didn’t really know this boy – we were in very different social circles – but he thought he was entitled to me because he was much bigger, looking for attention, and people were watching like it was entertainment. Well, my daddy was in Vietnam and my granddaddy was in World War II. I reacted without blinking as I was taught by my family. I slammed the boy up against the lockers with my wheelchair (in those days, my power wheelchair was 300 pounds, so I outweighed him by a lot even if he was over six feet).

Stunned, he wriggled in my grip and sputtered, “Why are you being such a prude?”

Think about that.

Why are you being such a prude?

Well, I looked straight up into his eyes without flinching and I said one word: “Apologize.” The boy laughed me off and the crowd got bigger. I was across from my art teacher’s classroom, so I was hoping my teacher or my friend Carl would see me and come to help. Neither appeared and none of the kids in the noisy hallway were willing to help me, which was messed up in itself. So when the boy laughed off my demand for an apology, I pressed into him harder with the metal edging on my 300-pound wheelchair. That boy yelped in pain and wriggled like an animal caught in a trap. I could have broken his leg if I chose but I held onto my anger, letting the flame simmer without boiling my rage beyond control. Self-defense isn’t about inflicting undue pain but maintaining control over a situation so you can get out of danger.

“Apologize,” I said again.

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry!” he yelped louder.

I remained steady. “For?”

“For copping a feel!”

Good enough. I let him go and I hurried in the opposite direction even though my next class was the other way. I thought about telling my friend Carl about it next time we were in art class together, which was the next day, but I decided not to say anything. We weren’t close enough, in my opinion at the time, for me to accurately predict whether he would believe me or his teammate. They were on the same sports teams, you see, and rural Georgia was very much a boys’ club. Knowing Carl’s character now, I could have told him and he might have looked out for me a little more, but I kept everything to myself throughout the rest of high school.

And for the rest of high school, I purposefully made myself ugly, small, and quiet. I never dated. I never went to parties. It was all on purpose because I thought it was my fault. And that’s what’s wrong with minorities in this country. We are the ones blamed when we are victimized or oppressed.

Why are you being such a prude?

Let this be a warning, Mr. Trump. One day, you’re going to harass the wrong woman and you’ll be the one pinned against the wall yelping in pain and begging for reprieve.

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The Myths and Truth of Samhain

Posted by Jessica Jewett 1 Comment »

Samhain Ritual If you’re interested in the Celtic or Gaelic festival of Samhain, please observe it correctly. October is not actually Samhain’s month. The festival begins on the night of the 31st of October but the month of Samhain is November. Its beginning corresponds with secular Halloween and that’s why we think of it as an October thing today. In modern society, Halloween is spreading into all of October because, in my opinion regarding America, November is all about Thanksgiving.

Here’s the basic truth.

Firstly, Samhain is not pronounced sam-hane. Don’t do that. It’s disrespectful to keep mispronouncing words after you’ve been properly taught. Irish-speaking people tend to say sow-an (my source is Trinity College Dublin) and some dialects of Gaelic-speaking people have said it’s like sahv-in, sow-een, shahvin, sowin (with “ow” like in “glow”). The Scots Gaelic spelling is Samhuin or Samhuinn. Since my people were mostly Irish, I stick with the example Trinity College Dublin offered.

Samhain is something that often got misidentified before as a “Celtic Death God”, which is not true. There was no such god and the story was, in fact, invented in the 18th century and propagated largely by Protestants nervous about pagans. Samhain is simply the initiation of the winter, the end of the harvest period, and a time to honor the dead in the pre-Christian Irish calendar. Traditions reflect the beliefs of Irish and some Scottish people in “in between” times when seasonal changes coincide with the unseen world and the death of the earth. The last day of October into the first day of November is an in between time, between life and death.

The pre-Christian Irish and some Scottish calendars were basically divided into two parts – the light half of the year beginning at Beltane (May) and the dark half of the year beginning at Samhain (November). There were other festivals coinciding with agricultural phases, of course, but the year began at Samhain and turned to the other half at Beltane. Winter and summer. Samhain is the end of the harvest period and the beginning of winter when people stayed closer to home and hearth.

In Modern Irish the name is Samhain, in Scottish Gaelic Samhainn/Samhuinn, and in Manx Gaelic Sauin. These are also the names of November in each language, shortened from Mí na Samhna (Irish), Mì na Samhna (Scottish Gaelic) and Mee Houney (Manx). The night of 31 October (Halloween) is Oíche Shamhna (Irish), Oidhche Shamhna (Scottish Gaelic) and Oie Houney (Manx), all meaning “Samhain night”. 1 November, or the whole festival, may be called Lá Samhna (Irish), Là Samhna (Scottish Gaelic) and Laa Houney (Manx), all meaning “Samhain day”.

These names all come from the Old Irish samain, samuin or samfuin [?sa??n?] all referring to 1 November (latha na samna: ‘samhain day’), and the festival and royal assembly held on that date in medieval Ireland (oenaig na samna: ‘samhain assembly’). Its meaning is glossed as ‘summer’s end’, and the frequent spelling with f suggests analysis by popular etymology as sam (‘summer’) and fuin (‘end’). The Old Irish sam is from Proto-Indo-European (PIE) *semo-; cognates include Welsh haf, Breton hañv, English summer and Old Norse sumar, all meaning ‘summer’, and the Sanskrit sáma (‘season’).

(Source.)

Samhain is a time to focus on and honor the dead, mirroring how the earth is going dormant like death for the cold season. Unlike Halloween, which is light-hearted and viewed as make believe, honoring the dead at Samhain is a deeply spiritual time, often solemn, and many rituals are done in private. This is how I was taught. And I remember fireplaces going in my childhood homes around the Samhain festival. Fire was an important element.

My grandmother always made sure I understood the difference between Halloween – them – and the importance of remembering the dead, both people and the planet – us. There was definitely an us vs them mentality to many of the holidays we observed in my childhood. I remember being seven and I’d have to listen to stories about relatives I never met while putting on a ballerina tutu to go trick-or-treating with my friends. At the time, I had trouble understanding why dusty photos of long-dead relatives appeared on my grandmother’s dresser amid candles every autumn and winter. Now I recognize it for what it was – an altar. We came from Irish people who held onto the old ways and (and later mixed them with Christian ways, mostly for show). It all got passed to me too, a little seven-year-old girl putting on a tutu on Halloween and wondering why my grandmother was drilling separation of cultures into my head.

In Octobers and Novembers of my childhood growing up under my grandmother’s care, there was a lot of feasting. It went on from Samhain through Thanksgiving. My school friends liked to come to my house because of the feasting – my grandmother fed everybody she met. I asked her why once because parents weren’t doing that at my friends’ houses and she said it was the way to appreciate harvests on the farm. While she often complained about how hard the work was on the farm (we were agricultural people for hundreds of years up until my mother’s generation), she did maintain cycles of feasts and lean times even while living in an apartment as an older woman.

November is the time of Samhain. The festival begins at sundown on October 31 and (at least in my family tradition) goes on for several days. In Irish culture, Samhain is the full month. In my family, we eat, we set up our ancestral altars, we practice divination, and we prepare our homes for the cold half of the year. This Samhain, my grandmother will be added to my altar. She died in July.

I am a witch who enjoys secular Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc., but my real spiritual practices lie in what’s underneath. My spiritual new year begins on November 1, not the literal new year of January 1. In fact, New Years Eve is the one secular holiday I don’t observe. I don’t go out and party. I rarely stay up until midnight to see the ball drop. My new year comes earlier and I’m much more comfortable with my traditions to mark the occasion. Of course, the evidence to say Samhain is the Celtic or Gaelic “New Year’s Day” is actually not very strong but it became a popular theory later when Celtic traditions underwent a revival in the 19th and 20th centuries. It was remarked that Samhain traditions have a running theme of new beginnings, so it became synonymous with the idea of the new year. Is it true in the pre-Christian period? I’m not sure, however, I follow my family traditions. We picked up a sorta kinda idea of Samhain the new year at some point – probably during the revival period of my great-great grandmother’s time.

Celtic and Gaelic people are still very much living, breathing cultures. I’m not going to write off newer family traditions because they were picked up by my Celtic and Gaelic family members after the pre-Christian period. Hereditary cultures largely based in oral tradition evolve over time. They’re not static. We need to give as much study and attention to all periods of our ancestral cultures, including the state of those cultures today, and learn as much as we possibly can. Being Americans descended from Celtic and Gaelic people means we’re often viewed as not “really” of those cultures. We have to work harder on the bigger picture, not just the pre-Christian period.

So while Halloween, in essence, came from Samhain, what’s celebrated today is what I think of as an American folk holiday. Samhain traditions are much more internalized to me because the time marks the beginning of winter when the life on earth is going dormant and we prepare for leaner times as we ask for support, love, and blessings from our ancestor spirits.

There are a lot of stories out there about the pagan origins of trick-or-treating, of carving gourds, of giving and receiving sweets, of wearing costumes, etc., so I don’t need to rehash all of that now. I tried to talk about the things here that get overlooked in favor of the more entertaining things. Feel free to add your traditions to this post! Are you a German witch? Polish? Russian? A completely different culture? How are your dead honored?

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Charleston helped me write a trilogy

Posted by Jessica Jewett 1 Comment »

From the Darkness Risen Book IIThe second book in my Civil War trilogy is nearly done. Praise be to the muses. I know you readers have been waiting for it. Life gets in the way of literary pursuits sometimes, especially when I’m forced to rely on other work for income. I always find it hilarious when people assume being an author equates being rich. Hardly.

To read about the first novel in the trilogy, click here.
To read about the second novel in the trilogy, click here.

My established readers know that the Cavanaugh and Reed families in the trilogy are from Charleston, South Carolina. Although we see Isabelle and Eva venture to St. Louis in the first novel, I brought the Cavanaugh clan back to their Charleston roots in the second novel. I usually stick to locations in my writing that I’ve visited numerous times in my life and therefore can write convincingly. I rather enjoy it when a setting takes on a life of its own and almost becomes its own character throughout the storytelling process. In fact, I’m more selective about location scouting and making sure those locations existed in the time that I’m writing than I am about any other aspect of building a story. That may be my tendency toward being visual and hoping one day to make movies. Nobody could ever say I wasn’t ambitious!

Recently, I took a trip to Charleston for a few days. One of my goals on this trip was to walk around old Charleston experiencing the city as my characters experienced it — on foot, for the most part. I remembered where all my main locations were and we set out for a walk to see if all of my careful planning was worth it.

Location 1: the “Meyers-Cavanaugh” house.

By Charleston standards, this house is rather middle-class. It was built in 1760, has three bedrooms, and is 2,287 square feet. In my novel, I added a little space with two extra bedrooms since there are so many family members living there. The outbuilding on the property is no longer there and the size of the property is smaller than it was in the Civil War, but luckily, most of what I needed to see is still in tact. The fence that usually lines the front of the property wasn’t there for some reason. We think the current owners are making some improvements.

102 Tradd Street

 

102 Tradd Street

 

Location 2: the Reed mansion.

In reality, this mansion on the battery is the Edmondston-Alston House. It was built in 1825 and enhanced in 1838. This was one of the first mansions built on what is known as the high battery. In my version of Charleston, this is where Eva grew up before getting married and moving to St. Louis. This house has a lot of memories for Isabelle as well because they were constantly with each other, having no sisters of their own.

21 East Battery

21 East Battery

 

Location 3: Saint Mary of the Annunciation Catholic Church and cemetery.

I forgot to get a picture of the actual church, so I stole one, but the cemetery pictures are mine. Saint Mary of the Annunciation is the oldest Catholic Church in Charleston and it’s the parish of the Cavanaugh and Reed families. Isabelle and Eva attended Mass here as little girls and many of their family members are buried in the graveyard surrounding the church. The graveyard is rather crowded and wraps around the back of the church from both sides. The Cavanaughs have a rather large plot here and a new grave is added in the second novel.

Saint Mary of the Annunciation

Saint Mary of the Annunciation

Saint Mary of the Annunciation

There you have a bit of a walking tour of Isabelle and Eva’s Charleston. I have more but I can’t show them now or I’ll give away plot spoilers. I will post them after the novel is published though!

 

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