>A few years ago, I rewrote O Holy Night to be O Holy Shorts. The muse has moved me again, thanks to Dena always teasing Jon about what she terms as fugly shoes (it’s all fun, no worries). So I rewrote Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer to be Jon Knight Got Run Over By A JJ. Enjoy.

Jon Knight got run over by a JJ
after Dena stole the fugly shoes.
You can say there’s no such thing as nice shoes.
But as for me and Donnie, we believe.

He’d been drinkin’ too much egg nog.
And we’d begged him not to shop.
But he’d forgot his New Kids stylist,
and he staggered all the way to Payless Shoes.

When we found him Christmas mornin’,
locked inside South Shore Plaza.
He had velcro on Frankenfoot,
And incriminatin’ mandals in his bag.

Jon Knight got run over by a JJ
after Dena stole the fugly shoes.
You can say there’s no such thing as nice shoes.
But as for me and Donnie, we believe.

Now we’re all so proud of Donnie.
He’s been takin’ this so well.
See him in there watchin’ Celtics,
drinkin’ Red Bull and playin’ cards with Joe Mac.

It’s not fashion without Jon Knight.
New Kids stylist wouldn’t work hard.
And we just can’t help but wonder:
Should we praise the fugly shoes or tell the truth?
(Tell the truth!)

Jon Knight got run over by a JJ
after Dena stole the fugly shoes.
You can say there’s no such thing as nice shoes.
But as for me and Donnie, we believe.

Now JJ got a flat tire.
And Jon took off running.
And made a block without shoes,
since Dena dumped them in a Christmas bonfire.

I’ve warned all my friends and neighbors.
“Better get him some new shoes.”
They should never give a stylist,
to a man who drives a truck and plays with tools.

Jon Knight got run over by a JJ
after Dena stole the fugly shoes.
You can say there’s no such thing as nice shoes.
But as for me and Donnie, we believe.
(Sing it, Donnie!)

Jon Knight got run over by a JJ
after Dena stole the fugly shoes.
You can say there’s no such thing as nice shoes.
But as for me and Donnie, we believe.