Archive for December, 2010

>My own death and funeral

Posted by Jessica Jewett 1 Comment »

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Incidentally, this is my 100th blog.

By happenstance, I came across a blog called Pine Grove Cemetery of Brunswick, Maine (click here to view the blog). She writes about interesting people, history and oddities found at Pine Grove Cemetery, which, incidentally, is where one of my former bodies is buried. Even if you don’t know anyone buried there, the history is so interesting and it’s all very well researched. I highly recommend checking out the blog, after you read mine, of course!

Back in July, they apparently posted the newspaper articles and obituary of my former self, Fanny Chamberlain – also spelled Fannie. I had never seen the obituary or the articles in their entirety, so this was a treat for me. I know, that sounds strange. As a genealogist, I know very well that some of the best unknown information about people can be found by looking at their obituaries and newspaper articles about them. Even though the newspapers got some facts wrong, they give researchers a direction to hunt. So as a genealogist, I got excited when I saw “new” articles about Fanny that I hadn’t yet seen in their entirety. As the woman herself, obviously I never got to read these things because I had passed away when they were printed.

I don’t want to repost things that don’t belong to me, so please go read Frances Adams Chamberlain: Death & Funeral before you go any further with reading my blog.

Go on. I’ll wait.

….

Done?

Admittedly, it was a little eerie to read my own obituary, news article and eulogy, but the truth is, a certain amount of detachment comes after you leave a life behind and resolve its lingering issues, so it’s not that traumatizing to read those things. I tend to look for parallels between Fanny and me when I come across new things as opposed to allowing any emotional attachment to a body no longer in use. Also, I was 80. You bet your life I was ready to die. I was stuck in an old, broken body and ready to move on to heaven for a much needed break. This is not to say I believed in reincarnation at that time. It simply means that when you reach a certain age, meeting God isn’t such a scary thing, especially when you know illness, pain and suffering will be things of the past. My children were grown, my husband was mostly secure; it was time for me to exit stage left and any lingering I might have done was to try and comfort him.

One thing about the news article struck me in particular:

In speaking of her a friends said: “Mrs. Chamberlain had a fund of funny stories and of quaint sayings. She was young and bright in spirit, even to her last. She was cultured and intellectual and an artist in painting as well as in music. But better than all her versatile talents was her dear, true strong, loving heart.”

Aside from my obvious reaction of, “Haha, people would probably describe me the same way today, especially the funny stories and quaint sayings,” I noticed that this description was in stark contrast to the way Fanny’s granddaughter, Rosamond, talked about her. The image historians have of Fanny today being cold, bitter, vain, unable to love, etc., etc., are due, in large part, to Rosamond. It’s interesting how different people saw Fanny in such different ways. It’s basically the same with me today. Most people either view me as cold and vain or loving and intellectual. As Fanny went on with her life doing things her way, being stubborn and true to her own values, so do I today in my present lifetime. Any hurt feelings I experienced over being misunderstood were basically kept hidden in private in my lifetime as Fanny and I find that I operate in the same way today, unless I get pushed too far. A temper is something I’ve struggled to control since long before my name was Jessica or Fanny.

Another section of the article that struck me was this:

Then to the time Mr. Chamberlain was made president of Bowdoin College when she was still “the same little Fannie Adams,” and the students came to her with their joys and sorrows, wrong doings and love affairs. Whatever happened, she always took the part of the student, being almost a mother to them.

Not only was this an aspect of Fanny’s personality largely ignored by historians, being mother to people beyond her own children, but it is something that has carried over in me today. Additionally, I have repeatedly said for years that I feel like “mother to the boys” whether it’s the soldiers who fought under Lawrence or any other young people associated with him. I still mother people today and “take their part”, especially with my work as a past life reader. I usually end up being a counselor to people about everything from – you guessed it – joys and sorrows, wrongdoings and love affairs. This solidifies my belief that who we are at our core will not change. Our personalities and feelings may bend here and there with the winds of change but the core of the soul and its nature remains as steadfast and solid as a boulder. It’s been in my nature for a long time to care for people and be a support system for them.

Two songs were mentioned in the article about the funeral. One was Sun of My Soul and the other was The Land of the Leal. It seems that Sun of My Soul was one of Fanny’s favorite songs. Before I went to hunt for it on YouTube, I took a moment to consider my impression of the song, having not heard it in this life. I thought it might have been something along the lines of How Great Thou Art, which is the type of hymn I’m most attracted to, being melodic, lovely and sentimental. I expected I would have thoroughly adored melodic, lovely songs when I was Fanny too. I looked up Sun of My Soul and I found it to be exactly that. Here is a clip of a woman on YouTube playing the song.

As for The Land of the Leal, something told me that was Lawrence’s doing, although there’s no way for me to be sure. He chose songs that dealt with things on more of an epic scale in spirituality. His writings were so full of spirits and preserving memories that I expected a song of his choosing to be themed with love, preservation, the oneness of spirit, and so forth. This song is about someone who is dying but knows they’ll see their great love in the hereafter, the Leal. It’s a song that tries to achieve immortality through love, which, in my opinion, screams Lawrence even though he liked to joke that he didn’t enjoy silly sentimental songs. I found some Scottish band that sang the song on YouTube. The singer explains the song a bit before singing and there’s some funny talk about Shamu but just skip ahead to the song.

I’m not sure if anyone will find this blog interesting except me. That’s okay. I was having sensory overload today and I needed to collect my thoughts in a written format. I want to close with a quote from Fanny’s eulogy that hits very close to home.

Immortality is an experience like love, or marriage, or any other part of the life lived by reasonable beings. It is not a deduction, for arguments crumble to pieces and fall like a house of cars, but it is an experience, an achievement, an attainment. Some accomplish immortality in this world, and are already passed from death unto life, but others, perhaps most people, learn its meaning, and feel its power only in the world to come. They move on into brightness, while we watch the departing glow.

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>Dear Santa with a moral twist

Posted by Jessica Jewett No Comments »

>I’m not feeling very keen on myself these days. It seems like I’m spending my days counting out pills, soaking in hot water and using heating pads to manage my pain issues, which leaves no desire or time for looking or even feeling like a human being. It’s not helping that my home health aid is on vacation, so I feel guilty for asking my family for extra daily help with things that other people take for granted. In short, I suppose you could say I have the holiday blues. I seem to be stuffing my face to cope with the holiday blues too, which is never something I did in the past, but an entire batch (two dozen) of cookies in my belly in three days says, “I’m unhappy and filling my void with sweets.”

So, to distract myself with happy thoughts, I’m writing a letter to Santa with my dream list of goodies. These are things I will probably never have (except Paris) but dreams are fun! Here we go….

A luxury trip to Paris is my dream. I’d love to stay in a big chateau so old that it would take months to learn all of the stories. I want to fatten up on rich French food, visit bakeries every day and eat pastries so fancy that they look like fine art. At night, I want to see the opera and ballet, and go to a formal ball of some kind. Then I want to tour the Louvre and explore Versailles like I have enough money and power to live in those places. I also want to visit the places where the French kings of my bloodline are buried.

When I come home from France, I want to buy a gorgeous old mansion in Maine or Massachusetts. Then I want to restore everything in it to the strictest historical standards within reason to later reopen it as a bed and breakfast. That way I can live on the property where I work and never have to drive anywhere. People will come from all over the world to experience an authentic vacation in historic New England. I could even give lectures about the mansion and the town to fulfill my desire to educate people about history. I will achieve financial security with this business venture too.

And then to reward all of my hard work on my fabulous New England bed and breakfast, I would want to get a pretty pink diamond.

A Knight.

A doctor that isn’t really a doctor.

A big meaty Spears.

…………… Wait a minute. Scratch that. Santa, I would trade all three of them in a heartbeat for another lifetime with my soldier.

Even when playing around with a dream Christmas list, material stuff doesn’t matter in the end. We’ve all been born and died numerous times but we never remember the stuff we accumulated during our lives. I’ve never done a reading for a person who thought, “Gee, I wish I still had my string of pearls,” or whatever the object was, unless it was something with emotional value from a loved one. Even then, wishing for the material thing never trumps wishing for contact with the loved one. I don’t remember many of my material possessions from previous lives but I remember my loved ones clearly. I remember the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. I remember his voice. So while ripping open presents on Christmas morning is fun, don’t let the material side of the holiday season cloud the real meaning of it. Love is what carries through time, not stuff.

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>Is Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain reincarnated?

Posted by Jessica Jewett 5 Comments »

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It’s no secret in my life that the woman pictured on the left, Fanny Chamberlain, was me in me in a previous lifetime. I no longer hide the truth as I used to do when I was younger because I didn’t understand what it all meant. I knew when I “came out” that I would be opening myself to a lot of ridicule. That was something I had to accept in my understanding that being so aware of my past life history was meant to help other people cope with their past lives. I believe in leading by example. I could never expect people to make peace with their various forms of history if I didn’t fully explore and reconcile the bad parts of my own history. There were a lot of bad parts of my life as Fanny even though I do view it as one of my most important lifetimes. I have gotten to a place, after years and years of self-exploration, where I can carry the happy, loving times with me and take lessons from the bad times. It didn’t used to be that way though. The trauma connected with being adopted without explanation, family members rapidly dying, my husband being wounded so often in the Civil War and coming home with post-traumatic stress disorder, etc., used to haunt me a lot.

To be honest, I haven’t thought too much about my past life as Fanny Chamberlain since I published Unveiled: Fanny Chamberlain Reincarnated because it was such a cathartic experience that resolved a lot of things that were haunting me about it. For some reason though, I have gotten a lot of questions recently about whether Fanny’s husband, Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, is reincarnated at the moment too and who he might be now. My initial thought is to say, “Uh-huh, you didn’t read my book because I fully addressed it there,” but of course, I don’t actually say that! Before I get into the nitty-gritty of this question, I’d like everyone to look at Lawrence and the depth in his eyes. Really look at him.

The short answer is no, he’s not reincarnated right now.

The long answer is even though I say no, I’m a living person not privy to all of the mechanics of the afterlife and I couldn’t possibly have all of the answers.

People ask me why I don’t think he’s reincarnated at present and, again, I covered all of this in my book but in basic terms, I do not feel that he’s in a body because too many people have seen and experienced his entity. I have personally seen him, many of my friends have seen him, many of my family members have seen him, perfect strangers with no connection to me have seen him, etc. I have a difficult time with the concept that a soul could be a ghost and a living person at the same time. So if my beliefs press me into the soul being an intact, individual consciousness, then Lawrence popping up as a ghost in different places logically leads me to believe that he has not reincarnated with this generation.

Additionally, many mediums since my childhood, most not being told about my past life history, have all described Lawrence as an entity around me periodically throughout my life. They have also said that this entity chose not to reincarnate right now because the main purpose of my present lifetime is to learn to be more independent and live on my own terms. If he was living, we would certainly find each other, being twin flames, and my purpose for learning in this life would be botched up because we depend on each other so much. One medium saying that is interesting. Two mediums saying that could be a coincidence. I’ve had five mediums all independent of each other tell me that beginning when I was 12-years-old. Of course, I struggled to understand what the medium was saying when I was that young though. In my heart, I believe that if Lawrence was alive right now, he would find me and we would be together. That’s how twin flames operate. If they live at the same time, they always find each other. It doesn’t happen very often.

However, looking at the situation from outside of myself, there are people who do believe a soul can be in multiple places at the same time. I respect all beliefs even if I don’t personally subscribe to them. So if I accept that as a possibility, not having the ego to believe that I know everything about reincarnation, then technically it is possible for Lawrence to be living right now while leaving part of himself behind. I’ve also heard of a few cases in which one soul inhabits two bodies at the same time. Frankly, I don’t understand how split reincarnations happen and I’m not entirely certain that they really exist, but I believe anything is possible.

There are actually quite a few men out there who claim to be Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain reincarnated. It’s getting so that they could probably get together and start a convention or a club. I can’t say that I’m surprised about this because he is well-known figure in Civil War history. The more famous a person is, the more likely people will identify with them in future generations and start to believe they were that person. I call it the Cleopatra Syndrome. Basically it means when you lived in a certain period, images or people will trigger your feelings and you may misinterpret recognition as an identity. Cleopatra was one of the most identifiable figures in Egyptian history, making dozens or hundreds of people believe they were her in a past life because they recognize her the most. The truth is these situations are most often cases of reincarnating from her kingdom, her servants, her family members, her friends, etc., but latching onto her because she’s the one figure they recognize from that time. There are dozens of Romanovs, thousands of Titanic victims, etc., but they all can’t be those people. They’re pulled to the emotional connection those events in history evoke. Most likely, people feeling so connected to those things certainly knew people directly involved or had some sort of emotional investment in it.

In Lawrence’s case, I think there might be a touch of Cleopatra Syndrome going on as well. Most of my memories had him in it, so I could easily see how always seeing him might lead a person to believe they were him when they were really just part of his life. If my math is right, there were about 4,000 men who served, fought, got wounded and died under his command in the Civil War. He was governor of the entire state of Maine and president of Bowdoin College, so add roughly half a million people to that who certainly knew who he was and looked to him as a leader in the years after the Civil War. He was a public figure and that means more people would have spiritual impressions of him in future lifetimes.

Simply put: I do not feel that Lawrence is reincarnated right now. His presence as a soul is too strong for me to accept that he’s in a body too.

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