>Dear Santa with a moral twist

Posted by Jessica Jewett No Comments »

>I’m not feeling very keen on myself these days. It seems like I’m spending my days counting out pills, soaking in hot water and using heating pads to manage my pain issues, which leaves no desire or time for looking or even feeling like a human being. It’s not helping that my home health aid is on vacation, so I feel guilty for asking my family for extra daily help with things that other people take for granted. In short, I suppose you could say I have the holiday blues. I seem to be stuffing my face to cope with the holiday blues too, which is never something I did in the past, but an entire batch (two dozen) of cookies in my belly in three days says, “I’m unhappy and filling my void with sweets.”

So, to distract myself with happy thoughts, I’m writing a letter to Santa with my dream list of goodies. These are things I will probably never have (except Paris) but dreams are fun! Here we go….

A luxury trip to Paris is my dream. I’d love to stay in a big chateau so old that it would take months to learn all of the stories. I want to fatten up on rich French food, visit bakeries every day and eat pastries so fancy that they look like fine art. At night, I want to see the opera and ballet, and go to a formal ball of some kind. Then I want to tour the Louvre and explore Versailles like I have enough money and power to live in those places. I also want to visit the places where the French kings of my bloodline are buried.

When I come home from France, I want to buy a gorgeous old mansion in Maine or Massachusetts. Then I want to restore everything in it to the strictest historical standards within reason to later reopen it as a bed and breakfast. That way I can live on the property where I work and never have to drive anywhere. People will come from all over the world to experience an authentic vacation in historic New England. I could even give lectures about the mansion and the town to fulfill my desire to educate people about history. I will achieve financial security with this business venture too.

And then to reward all of my hard work on my fabulous New England bed and breakfast, I would want to get a pretty pink diamond.

A Knight.

A doctor that isn’t really a doctor.

A big meaty Spears.

…………… Wait a minute. Scratch that. Santa, I would trade all three of them in a heartbeat for another lifetime with my soldier.

Even when playing around with a dream Christmas list, material stuff doesn’t matter in the end. We’ve all been born and died numerous times but we never remember the stuff we accumulated during our lives. I’ve never done a reading for a person who thought, “Gee, I wish I still had my string of pearls,” or whatever the object was, unless it was something with emotional value from a loved one. Even then, wishing for the material thing never trumps wishing for contact with the loved one. I don’t remember many of my material possessions from previous lives but I remember my loved ones clearly. I remember the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. I remember his voice. So while ripping open presents on Christmas morning is fun, don’t let the material side of the holiday season cloud the real meaning of it. Love is what carries through time, not stuff.

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>Is Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain reincarnated?

Posted by Jessica Jewett 5 Comments »

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It’s no secret in my life that the woman pictured on the left, Fanny Chamberlain, was me in me in a previous lifetime. I no longer hide the truth as I used to do when I was younger because I didn’t understand what it all meant. I knew when I “came out” that I would be opening myself to a lot of ridicule. That was something I had to accept in my understanding that being so aware of my past life history was meant to help other people cope with their past lives. I believe in leading by example. I could never expect people to make peace with their various forms of history if I didn’t fully explore and reconcile the bad parts of my own history. There were a lot of bad parts of my life as Fanny even though I do view it as one of my most important lifetimes. I have gotten to a place, after years and years of self-exploration, where I can carry the happy, loving times with me and take lessons from the bad times. It didn’t used to be that way though. The trauma connected with being adopted without explanation, family members rapidly dying, my husband being wounded so often in the Civil War and coming home with post-traumatic stress disorder, etc., used to haunt me a lot.

To be honest, I haven’t thought too much about my past life as Fanny Chamberlain since I published Unveiled: Fanny Chamberlain Reincarnated because it was such a cathartic experience that resolved a lot of things that were haunting me about it. For some reason though, I have gotten a lot of questions recently about whether Fanny’s husband, Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, is reincarnated at the moment too and who he might be now. My initial thought is to say, “Uh-huh, you didn’t read my book because I fully addressed it there,” but of course, I don’t actually say that! Before I get into the nitty-gritty of this question, I’d like everyone to look at Lawrence and the depth in his eyes. Really look at him.

The short answer is no, he’s not reincarnated right now.

The long answer is even though I say no, I’m a living person not privy to all of the mechanics of the afterlife and I couldn’t possibly have all of the answers.

People ask me why I don’t think he’s reincarnated at present and, again, I covered all of this in my book but in basic terms, I do not feel that he’s in a body because too many people have seen and experienced his entity. I have personally seen him, many of my friends have seen him, many of my family members have seen him, perfect strangers with no connection to me have seen him, etc. I have a difficult time with the concept that a soul could be a ghost and a living person at the same time. So if my beliefs press me into the soul being an intact, individual consciousness, then Lawrence popping up as a ghost in different places logically leads me to believe that he has not reincarnated with this generation.

Additionally, many mediums since my childhood, most not being told about my past life history, have all described Lawrence as an entity around me periodically throughout my life. They have also said that this entity chose not to reincarnate right now because the main purpose of my present lifetime is to learn to be more independent and live on my own terms. If he was living, we would certainly find each other, being twin flames, and my purpose for learning in this life would be botched up because we depend on each other so much. One medium saying that is interesting. Two mediums saying that could be a coincidence. I’ve had five mediums all independent of each other tell me that beginning when I was 12-years-old. Of course, I struggled to understand what the medium was saying when I was that young though. In my heart, I believe that if Lawrence was alive right now, he would find me and we would be together. That’s how twin flames operate. If they live at the same time, they always find each other. It doesn’t happen very often.

However, looking at the situation from outside of myself, there are people who do believe a soul can be in multiple places at the same time. I respect all beliefs even if I don’t personally subscribe to them. So if I accept that as a possibility, not having the ego to believe that I know everything about reincarnation, then technically it is possible for Lawrence to be living right now while leaving part of himself behind. I’ve also heard of a few cases in which one soul inhabits two bodies at the same time. Frankly, I don’t understand how split reincarnations happen and I’m not entirely certain that they really exist, but I believe anything is possible.

There are actually quite a few men out there who claim to be Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain reincarnated. It’s getting so that they could probably get together and start a convention or a club. I can’t say that I’m surprised about this because he is well-known figure in Civil War history. The more famous a person is, the more likely people will identify with them in future generations and start to believe they were that person. I call it the Cleopatra Syndrome. Basically it means when you lived in a certain period, images or people will trigger your feelings and you may misinterpret recognition as an identity. Cleopatra was one of the most identifiable figures in Egyptian history, making dozens or hundreds of people believe they were her in a past life because they recognize her the most. The truth is these situations are most often cases of reincarnating from her kingdom, her servants, her family members, her friends, etc., but latching onto her because she’s the one figure they recognize from that time. There are dozens of Romanovs, thousands of Titanic victims, etc., but they all can’t be those people. They’re pulled to the emotional connection those events in history evoke. Most likely, people feeling so connected to those things certainly knew people directly involved or had some sort of emotional investment in it.

In Lawrence’s case, I think there might be a touch of Cleopatra Syndrome going on as well. Most of my memories had him in it, so I could easily see how always seeing him might lead a person to believe they were him when they were really just part of his life. If my math is right, there were about 4,000 men who served, fought, got wounded and died under his command in the Civil War. He was governor of the entire state of Maine and president of Bowdoin College, so add roughly half a million people to that who certainly knew who he was and looked to him as a leader in the years after the Civil War. He was a public figure and that means more people would have spiritual impressions of him in future lifetimes.

Simply put: I do not feel that Lawrence is reincarnated right now. His presence as a soul is too strong for me to accept that he’s in a body too.

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>What is forgiveness?

Posted by Jessica Jewett 4 Comments »

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“I forgive you.”

They are three simple little words but I’ve begun to wonder, after watching a documentary called Forgiving Dr. Mengele, if people really know what it means to forgive. What is the meaning of it? What does forgiveness do for the offender and the forgiver?

The documentary was about a woman named Eva Kor and her struggle throughout her life to overcome her time during the Holocaust as one of Dr. Mengele’s human guinea pigs. She was part of a pair of twins, her sister being Miriam, and the family was taken to Auschwitz where Dr. Mengele was doing horrific experiments on dozens of sets of twins. He injected things into the children that people still can’t identify today because he never explained his experiments to anyone and no files of his have been found regarding the Mengele twins. He injected both Eva and Miriam with something that nearly killed them at the time and stunted the growth of Miriam’s kidneys forever. Eva donated her own kidney to Miriam decades after the fact but without knowing what Mengele injected into her, she died even after receiving the new kidney.

Eva has dedicated her life to three things: 1) no longer allowing herself to be a victim, 2) educating children about the Holocaust, and, 3) forgiving the Nazis. All three of these things are linked for her because through forgiving the Nazis, namely Dr. Mengele, she has freed herself from living as a victim and her message of peace through forgiveness is the basis of her educational work. The affects of the Holocaust are still with her in many ways but she has used forgiveness as an empowerment tool so that fear and anger no longer control her in regards to the Holocaust. She has met with a few Nazis and gone to Auschwitz many times as well. Most of the Mengele twins refuse to condone her forgiveness and refuse to even speak to her. They admittedly have not been able to pull themselves out of the darkness of Auschwitz and one woman in particular admitted that she just doesn’t know how to be happy or feel happiness.

The heart of the documentary’s theme was getting to the center of what forgiveness is and what it does to people. I realized from watching people’s reactions in talking to Eva that they don’t understand her position because they haven’t fully defined what forgiveness is for themselves. Many asked her what her criteria was for forgiveness and went on to point out that not enough has been done for the Nazis to earn it. In Eva’s point of view, forgiveness is not something you offer to people who deserve it while handing out revenge instead to those who don’t deserve to be forgiven. Revenge only causes pain for everyone involved and doesn’t solve anything, in her opinion. Forgiveness is something you have to create from within for your own peace and freedom without expecting any sort of reaction from the offender. “I forgive you,” means, “I’m letting go of the pain you inflicted upon me and I will no longer be held prisoner by it. I’m letting go of past negativity in order to regain control of my life.” I agree with Eva on those points. Forgiveness is not about the other person. It’s about yourself.

The most difficult act of forgiveness in my life was not on the scale of Eva Kor forgiving the Nazis but it was extremely difficult and took years. I was sexually abused as a minor by my ex-stepfather. For a long time, I went through life with my head stuck in the sand, going through bouts of depression and being suicidal, etc., before I realized that he was never going to face justice or show remorse for what he did to me. I reached a crossroads where I had to choose between drowning in the control he still had over my life and eventually killing myself, or realizing that I had the choice to make peace with it and regain control of my life without his apology or witnessing revenge. What he did was illegal and he should have been put in jail but by the point of reconciling it, he was long gone and seeking revenge wasn’t going to change the fact that I had been sexually abused. If I had done something to ruin his life, it would have given me satisfaction for a little while but my own psychological damage would have still been there and I would have been right back at square one as soon as the momentary satisfaction wore off.

I had no choice but to forgive him, let go of the past, and move on to regain control of my life. It’s a lot easier said than done, of course, and a very long process. Forgiveness gives you freedom in the sense that you recognize that what was done to you was evil and wrong but the way you cope with any psychological damage in your future is fully within your control. People don’t have control over you if they are no longer in your life unless you’re allowing past hurt and damage to control you. Yes, I still suffer with some of the after-affects of sexual abuse. I occasionally have nightmares, I do not enjoy sexual contact with men and got very good at pretending just to please them, I don’t touch or hug or show physical affection much at all, among other things. The difference is I take control of my own damage and I work toward healing myself, having nothing to do with what my ex-stepfather did to me. What he did was not my fault but lying down and remaining a victim for the rest of my life would be my fault if I allowed that to happen.

I forgave my ex-stepfather a long time ago. His actions will not determine my future.

What does forgiveness mean to you? If you think of the worst thing that was ever done to you, do you think you could find a way to forgive and take back that piece of your life?

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