>My own death and funeral

Posted by Jessica Jewett 1 Comment »

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Incidentally, this is my 100th blog.

By happenstance, I came across a blog called Pine Grove Cemetery of Brunswick, Maine (click here to view the blog). She writes about interesting people, history and oddities found at Pine Grove Cemetery, which, incidentally, is where one of my former bodies is buried. Even if you don’t know anyone buried there, the history is so interesting and it’s all very well researched. I highly recommend checking out the blog, after you read mine, of course!

Back in July, they apparently posted the newspaper articles and obituary of my former self, Fanny Chamberlain – also spelled Fannie. I had never seen the obituary or the articles in their entirety, so this was a treat for me. I know, that sounds strange. As a genealogist, I know very well that some of the best unknown information about people can be found by looking at their obituaries and newspaper articles about them. Even though the newspapers got some facts wrong, they give researchers a direction to hunt. So as a genealogist, I got excited when I saw “new” articles about Fanny that I hadn’t yet seen in their entirety. As the woman herself, obviously I never got to read these things because I had passed away when they were printed.

I don’t want to repost things that don’t belong to me, so please go read Frances Adams Chamberlain: Death & Funeral before you go any further with reading my blog.

Go on. I’ll wait.

….

Done?

Admittedly, it was a little eerie to read my own obituary, news article and eulogy, but the truth is, a certain amount of detachment comes after you leave a life behind and resolve its lingering issues, so it’s not that traumatizing to read those things. I tend to look for parallels between Fanny and me when I come across new things as opposed to allowing any emotional attachment to a body no longer in use. Also, I was 80. You bet your life I was ready to die. I was stuck in an old, broken body and ready to move on to heaven for a much needed break. This is not to say I believed in reincarnation at that time. It simply means that when you reach a certain age, meeting God isn’t such a scary thing, especially when you know illness, pain and suffering will be things of the past. My children were grown, my husband was mostly secure; it was time for me to exit stage left and any lingering I might have done was to try and comfort him.

One thing about the news article struck me in particular:

In speaking of her a friends said: “Mrs. Chamberlain had a fund of funny stories and of quaint sayings. She was young and bright in spirit, even to her last. She was cultured and intellectual and an artist in painting as well as in music. But better than all her versatile talents was her dear, true strong, loving heart.”

Aside from my obvious reaction of, “Haha, people would probably describe me the same way today, especially the funny stories and quaint sayings,” I noticed that this description was in stark contrast to the way Fanny’s granddaughter, Rosamond, talked about her. The image historians have of Fanny today being cold, bitter, vain, unable to love, etc., etc., are due, in large part, to Rosamond. It’s interesting how different people saw Fanny in such different ways. It’s basically the same with me today. Most people either view me as cold and vain or loving and intellectual. As Fanny went on with her life doing things her way, being stubborn and true to her own values, so do I today in my present lifetime. Any hurt feelings I experienced over being misunderstood were basically kept hidden in private in my lifetime as Fanny and I find that I operate in the same way today, unless I get pushed too far. A temper is something I’ve struggled to control since long before my name was Jessica or Fanny.

Another section of the article that struck me was this:

Then to the time Mr. Chamberlain was made president of Bowdoin College when she was still “the same little Fannie Adams,” and the students came to her with their joys and sorrows, wrong doings and love affairs. Whatever happened, she always took the part of the student, being almost a mother to them.

Not only was this an aspect of Fanny’s personality largely ignored by historians, being mother to people beyond her own children, but it is something that has carried over in me today. Additionally, I have repeatedly said for years that I feel like “mother to the boys” whether it’s the soldiers who fought under Lawrence or any other young people associated with him. I still mother people today and “take their part”, especially with my work as a past life reader. I usually end up being a counselor to people about everything from – you guessed it – joys and sorrows, wrongdoings and love affairs. This solidifies my belief that who we are at our core will not change. Our personalities and feelings may bend here and there with the winds of change but the core of the soul and its nature remains as steadfast and solid as a boulder. It’s been in my nature for a long time to care for people and be a support system for them.

Two songs were mentioned in the article about the funeral. One was Sun of My Soul and the other was The Land of the Leal. It seems that Sun of My Soul was one of Fanny’s favorite songs. Before I went to hunt for it on YouTube, I took a moment to consider my impression of the song, having not heard it in this life. I thought it might have been something along the lines of How Great Thou Art, which is the type of hymn I’m most attracted to, being melodic, lovely and sentimental. I expected I would have thoroughly adored melodic, lovely songs when I was Fanny too. I looked up Sun of My Soul and I found it to be exactly that. Here is a clip of a woman on YouTube playing the song.

As for The Land of the Leal, something told me that was Lawrence’s doing, although there’s no way for me to be sure. He chose songs that dealt with things on more of an epic scale in spirituality. His writings were so full of spirits and preserving memories that I expected a song of his choosing to be themed with love, preservation, the oneness of spirit, and so forth. This song is about someone who is dying but knows they’ll see their great love in the hereafter, the Leal. It’s a song that tries to achieve immortality through love, which, in my opinion, screams Lawrence even though he liked to joke that he didn’t enjoy silly sentimental songs. I found some Scottish band that sang the song on YouTube. The singer explains the song a bit before singing and there’s some funny talk about Shamu but just skip ahead to the song.

I’m not sure if anyone will find this blog interesting except me. That’s okay. I was having sensory overload today and I needed to collect my thoughts in a written format. I want to close with a quote from Fanny’s eulogy that hits very close to home.

Immortality is an experience like love, or marriage, or any other part of the life lived by reasonable beings. It is not a deduction, for arguments crumble to pieces and fall like a house of cars, but it is an experience, an achievement, an attainment. Some accomplish immortality in this world, and are already passed from death unto life, but others, perhaps most people, learn its meaning, and feel its power only in the world to come. They move on into brightness, while we watch the departing glow.

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>Is Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain reincarnated?

Posted by Jessica Jewett 5 Comments »

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It’s no secret in my life that the woman pictured on the left, Fanny Chamberlain, was me in me in a previous lifetime. I no longer hide the truth as I used to do when I was younger because I didn’t understand what it all meant. I knew when I “came out” that I would be opening myself to a lot of ridicule. That was something I had to accept in my understanding that being so aware of my past life history was meant to help other people cope with their past lives. I believe in leading by example. I could never expect people to make peace with their various forms of history if I didn’t fully explore and reconcile the bad parts of my own history. There were a lot of bad parts of my life as Fanny even though I do view it as one of my most important lifetimes. I have gotten to a place, after years and years of self-exploration, where I can carry the happy, loving times with me and take lessons from the bad times. It didn’t used to be that way though. The trauma connected with being adopted without explanation, family members rapidly dying, my husband being wounded so often in the Civil War and coming home with post-traumatic stress disorder, etc., used to haunt me a lot.

To be honest, I haven’t thought too much about my past life as Fanny Chamberlain since I published Unveiled: Fanny Chamberlain Reincarnated because it was such a cathartic experience that resolved a lot of things that were haunting me about it. For some reason though, I have gotten a lot of questions recently about whether Fanny’s husband, Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, is reincarnated at the moment too and who he might be now. My initial thought is to say, “Uh-huh, you didn’t read my book because I fully addressed it there,” but of course, I don’t actually say that! Before I get into the nitty-gritty of this question, I’d like everyone to look at Lawrence and the depth in his eyes. Really look at him.

The short answer is no, he’s not reincarnated right now.

The long answer is even though I say no, I’m a living person not privy to all of the mechanics of the afterlife and I couldn’t possibly have all of the answers.

People ask me why I don’t think he’s reincarnated at present and, again, I covered all of this in my book but in basic terms, I do not feel that he’s in a body because too many people have seen and experienced his entity. I have personally seen him, many of my friends have seen him, many of my family members have seen him, perfect strangers with no connection to me have seen him, etc. I have a difficult time with the concept that a soul could be a ghost and a living person at the same time. So if my beliefs press me into the soul being an intact, individual consciousness, then Lawrence popping up as a ghost in different places logically leads me to believe that he has not reincarnated with this generation.

Additionally, many mediums since my childhood, most not being told about my past life history, have all described Lawrence as an entity around me periodically throughout my life. They have also said that this entity chose not to reincarnate right now because the main purpose of my present lifetime is to learn to be more independent and live on my own terms. If he was living, we would certainly find each other, being twin flames, and my purpose for learning in this life would be botched up because we depend on each other so much. One medium saying that is interesting. Two mediums saying that could be a coincidence. I’ve had five mediums all independent of each other tell me that beginning when I was 12-years-old. Of course, I struggled to understand what the medium was saying when I was that young though. In my heart, I believe that if Lawrence was alive right now, he would find me and we would be together. That’s how twin flames operate. If they live at the same time, they always find each other. It doesn’t happen very often.

However, looking at the situation from outside of myself, there are people who do believe a soul can be in multiple places at the same time. I respect all beliefs even if I don’t personally subscribe to them. So if I accept that as a possibility, not having the ego to believe that I know everything about reincarnation, then technically it is possible for Lawrence to be living right now while leaving part of himself behind. I’ve also heard of a few cases in which one soul inhabits two bodies at the same time. Frankly, I don’t understand how split reincarnations happen and I’m not entirely certain that they really exist, but I believe anything is possible.

There are actually quite a few men out there who claim to be Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain reincarnated. It’s getting so that they could probably get together and start a convention or a club. I can’t say that I’m surprised about this because he is well-known figure in Civil War history. The more famous a person is, the more likely people will identify with them in future generations and start to believe they were that person. I call it the Cleopatra Syndrome. Basically it means when you lived in a certain period, images or people will trigger your feelings and you may misinterpret recognition as an identity. Cleopatra was one of the most identifiable figures in Egyptian history, making dozens or hundreds of people believe they were her in a past life because they recognize her the most. The truth is these situations are most often cases of reincarnating from her kingdom, her servants, her family members, her friends, etc., but latching onto her because she’s the one figure they recognize from that time. There are dozens of Romanovs, thousands of Titanic victims, etc., but they all can’t be those people. They’re pulled to the emotional connection those events in history evoke. Most likely, people feeling so connected to those things certainly knew people directly involved or had some sort of emotional investment in it.

In Lawrence’s case, I think there might be a touch of Cleopatra Syndrome going on as well. Most of my memories had him in it, so I could easily see how always seeing him might lead a person to believe they were him when they were really just part of his life. If my math is right, there were about 4,000 men who served, fought, got wounded and died under his command in the Civil War. He was governor of the entire state of Maine and president of Bowdoin College, so add roughly half a million people to that who certainly knew who he was and looked to him as a leader in the years after the Civil War. He was a public figure and that means more people would have spiritual impressions of him in future lifetimes.

Simply put: I do not feel that Lawrence is reincarnated right now. His presence as a soul is too strong for me to accept that he’s in a body too.

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>Knock, knock! Anybody home?

Posted by Jessica Jewett 1 Comment »

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(This picture is a possible apparition of Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain. Read this blog for the story.)

Last night, I posted this note to myself on twitter at about 2:10 am: Making a note to remind myself in the morning. Knocking on the kitchen wall and window. Asked it to stop and it obeyed. Said Lawrence and a big bang on the wall followed. Investigate for heating ducts tomorrow.

I didn’t get much sleep last night, to say the least. I’m well accustomed to various entities passing through and trying to get my attention. A long time ago, I learned to tune it out at night, otherwise I would never get any sleep. Some souls, however, know how to get my attention even when I try to “turn off” my intuitive senses. My grandfather, Sam Jewett (nicknamed Brick), is one of them. My great-grandmother, Esther Dobberteen, is another. A couple of soldiers I’ve picked up along the way can also get past my intuitive block, and Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain being the most persistent among them due to our previous relationships and his choice not to reincarnate with this generation. His occasional presence in my life and my willingness to talk about it opened me to ridicule a long time ago and I have accepted that. It doesn’t bother me anymore. In other people’s shoes, I would probably give me the side eye too. On the other hand, my connection to Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain (I was his wife in a previous life as written in the book Unveiled: Fanny Chamberlain Reincarnated) has taught me to not be so judgmental of other people’s paranormal experiences. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.

Last night was an interesting encounter. I went to bed around 12:30 am and I watched television while I waited for my grandmother to get herself into bed too. I ended up getting sucked into the movie For the Boys and I was awake longer than I intended. The house was perfectly still when I turned off the television around 1:40 am and I rolled on my back to do my nightly meditation ritual. Almost immediately, knocking rapped out from my kitchen wall and the glass panes of the kitchen window. At first, I ignored it, passing it off as the house settling or some other natural noise. Just as I had that thought, there was more knocking on the window panes, only louder. Still, I ignored it. After about ten minutes of ignoring it, the knocking got so loud that I jumped and I was afraid it was going to wake up my grandmother across the house.

“Stop! You’re going to wake her!” I blurted without thinking.

Immediately, the knocking stopped and even though I was very doubtful that the noise was anything but my house popping and settling, I did think it was odd that natural popping and settling stopped the second I told it to stop. I decided to test it just to make myself feel better.

“Who’s there?”

No response. I was fairly satisfied that it wasn’t anything paranormal, but after a few minutes, I still hadn’t shaken the feeling that someone was in the room with me.

“Lawrence?”

Immediately, I got a response of softer knocking on the window the way someone would knock if they were trying to be quiet. I don’t like to jump to conclusions though. My mind ran through every natural possibility for the knocking but I couldn’t figure out how a natural occurrence was responding to verbal commands. At that point, my dog, who had been asleep at my side, jumped up and ran to the living room as if someone had called her even though I didn’t hear anything. It was dark, so I couldn’t see what my dog was doing in the living room, but after a minute or two, she came back to bed and went to sleep again.

I rolled over on my side facing the living room, resolved that I wasn’t going to be able to figure out what was going on until today. Frankly, it was after 2 am and I was very tired, even for a rare encounter with Lawrence. Just as I settled, I heard three footsteps near the divide between the living room and the place where I sleep, which is hardwood floor. Not only did I hear clear footsteps but the sound was that distinct clopping of old boots (his boots are pictured). I felt energy in the room as well. Then I was fairly convinced that it was Lawrence dropping in for a visit. People who spend enough time with me know exactly what the boots sound like because they have heard it too. My mother has seen boots walking by her in reflections as well. I suspect boots from that period are such a distinctive sound that he and other soldiers use it to make themselves known. The sound is comforting to me in a way that is not entirely in the here and now, as if I found the sound comforting in that time as well. The sound of his boots on the floor meant he was home.

I could not find any reason why there would be knocking on that part of the wall or the window when I checked things out this morning. Last night I even waited for the heat to kick on but no strange sounds happened when it did, nor were there any strange sounds when the refrigerator motor kicked on too. If someone runs water upstairs, the pipe makes noise on the other side of the house, not on the window pane in the kitchen. There aren’t any trees brushing up against the house either. There are delicate vines. Either the vines turned evil and tried to bust through the window or something paranormal happened. Was it Lawrence? Well, all the indications said it was him. Without a big blinking sign or him saying, “Hello! It’s Lawrence!” there will always be detractors and skeptics. That’s okay. I tried everything I knew to find a natural explanation and I couldn’t find one. This has happened a few times before this year but I always dismissed it. Last night, however, Lawrence or whomever it was, refused to be dismissed and ignored. I can be a little bit stubborn sometimes!

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