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Do angels exist? This is a question I have grappled with for the entirety of my life. I’m not sure why I struggle with that question so much when there is no doubt in my mind that God exists. I do not, however, view God in the way that most Christians do. God, to me, is a universal life force, a mother and a father to all of us, male, female, always loving and there to give us guidance while allowing us free will both here on Earth and in the afterlife. Reincarnation also fits in with my belief in God, but that’s a topic for another day. Right now we are talking about angels.

I think my issue is not so much whether angels exist at all but what the definition is for their existence and function. People seem divided on what they are exactly. Some define angels as loved ones who have passed away and look after us and protect us from the afterlife. Some define angels as an entirely separate species created by God outside of the sphere of the human race. Some don’t believe angels exist at all. Some simply lump all spiritual beings into the two categories of human spirits and inhuman spirits. There are so many different ideas of what angels are that it’s easy to get confused. I’m still confused, but I’ve had a few recent experiences that are leading me to believe a few things about the nature of this creature called the angel.

Admittedly, I have not relied on spirit beings as much as I should in the development of my intuitive abilities, managing my life, managing my energy, and so forth. I tend to be very stubborn in taking everything into myself and trying to control my own flow of energy. Not seeking help from higher powers has been destructive at times in my life. I have had two major mental breakdowns in ten years as a result of doing readings and communicating with entities while not properly clearing out my energy or asking for protection or healing when I needed it. I’m a very proud person and asking for help has always been a sticky thing that I view as weakness. When you live with one foot here and one foot in the “other world”, as I was told as a child, being too stubborn to see your own frailty is a dangerous thing. I don’t think I could make myself seek help from spiritual beings that may or may not exist. That was the root of it. I believe in ghosts because I’ve seen them. I believe in reincarnation because I’ve experienced it. Until recently, I had never seen an angel. I’ve never seen a UFO, Bigfoot, nothing like that, and I struggle to believe in things I can’t see or experience.

Fast forward to earlier this year when I was in the midst of my most recent mental breakdown. I had gotten to the point where I couldn’t go very far away from my own house because I had lost control of my abilities and every person I encountered brought all of their spiritual baggage with them. Out of concern, one of my best friends suggested I try going through some spiritual cleansing with someone she knew who had years and years of experience in these things. I agreed but I was skeptical. She led me through guided meditation over the phone and often called on Archangel Michael, Archangel Gabriel and a few others. Something in me balked at calling on angels when we all have control of our own souls but I went along with the meditation and her visualization exercises. Anything was worth a try.

She called on Archangel Michael to create a protective shield around me and in my meditative state, I saw an androgynous looking figure in white and blue robes doing something around me. Typically in my meditative state, I only see blackness unless something is happening. Later, she called on Archangel Gabriel to help clear out my energy so that I can speak my messages from the other side more clearly. Again, another androgynous looking figure came into my field of vision except his robes were a bit different and his hair was different. A third androgynous figure came along who I understood to be the healer (Raphael?) and he touched parts of my body that had been giving me trouble for a long time. I understood that my relief was a temporary respite because I had things to learn from coping with daily physical trials. These three figures had no wings. Their clothing had no particular historical style. They did their work in silence, save for communication through energy without words. They were much bigger than me and looked human but seemed neither male nor female to me. The names by which we call them are creations of mankind and they understand that but I don’t think they really have names.

I came out of that session feeling lighter, relieved and rejuvenated. I was told not to use my intuitive gifts for three days in order to give myself a chance to heal. I interpreted it as I had injured myself and I was basically to go on spiritual bed rest to get better. I decided it wasn’t a good idea to go against the advice of the other side through my mentor so I obeyed and stayed quiet for three days going through basic meditations and rest to put myself back on the right track. I started calling on Archangel Michael for protection after the period of rest and I found that it worked. I felt stronger in my work.

Was I really touched by angels or was it something by the power of suggestion? I wasn’t sure for a long time but I still remember the event very clearly and I usually forget things fairly quick. Also, the power of suggestion would not have lasted this long. I still call on them for help and I still feel immediate relief. In a way, I suppose I do believe angels exist after all. However, I disagree that people who died became angels. Angels are not human and never have been human. They’re an entirely different spiritual species from humans. There is no way those figures I encountered were ever human. People can argue that their deceased loved ones have protected them, so therefore, they must be angels now but I feel that spirits of deceased loved ones definitely have the ability to guide and protect. Angels just do it on a much larger scale with much more power and influence.

Basically, I’m a skeptical believer in angels. I believe human spirits are human spirits and angels are a totally different species.

How do you feel? What has been your experience with angels? Do you believe?