A moment to pause

Okay, Life, I get it. You’re hard. You’re not for the faint of heart.

To put it mildly, I’m struggling to wrap my head around life right now. I think of myself as a very strong person but I’m not handling things well this week. One thing just gets piled on top of another. My home being flooded and destroyed ten days ago was enough to throw my world for a loop. I’ll be living in a borrowed room out of a bag of scattered things for the foreseeable future. Honestly, though, my flood is eventually going to be resolved but I’m struggling more with people dear to me being so sick, people getting killed just to see a movie, etc.

When you’re an empath, you feel your own suffering and you feel the suffering of everyone you care about too. My heart hurts. I’m afraid of all the uncertainty around me these days. What hurts the most is not being able to comfort the people who need more than I do. I can’t make anything better. I can’t make things go away.

Tonight and tomorrow, I’m going to spend some time putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. Things have slowly been chipping away at me and I need to pick up the pieces to keep going because that’s what I do. I put one foot in front of the other and I keep going because people depend on me to pick up their pieces and keep them going too. Tonight I’m spending time in quiet reflection and prayer. Yeah, I know. Me. Prayer. Somehow I got sucked back into that particular ritual. It’s all I can do at this point. I’m also going to release all of my negativity and angst into my journal, hence the picture. That’s my current journal. Tomorrow I will repeat the process and hopefully that will put me in a better place.

The reason I’m telling y’all this is because I know a lot of you are suffering too. Give quiet time, prayer and journaling a shot. These things really will clear your mind, at least enough to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Don’t get stuck. Acknowledge your feelings but don’t become paralyzed by them. You have the power to help people around you but you have to help yourself first.

I love y’all. Don’t forget to tell people you love them. It’s so important to do it now while you can.

5 responses to “A moment to pause”

  1. I totally get what you’re saying. I’ve kinda been in the same boat. =/

  2. Gretchen Smith says:

    Thank you for this reminder. It seems we spend so much of our lives worrying about getting everything just right and we forget to take time to find peace with ourselves. Your Humpty Dumpty analogy is perfect; we need to look at the pieces and start putting them back together. I hope your pieces start coming together again soon as well.

  3. Jonette says:

    Jessica, I love your opening line “Your not for the faint of heart”. As we all found out today from the Colorado killings, the world can be a mad place. One that sane people just can’t figure out. The negativity eats away at us. But we have to keep our chin up and believe that God knows best. Prayer is powerful. I guess that’s why we all resort back to it in times like these. When our life seems overwhelming. Just know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and what will be will be. Quiet time and reflection is good. It promotes positive vibes in your life. Right now, just ride that roller coaster and take things as they come. Know that you will win in the end because you ARE stronger!!!

  4. Vianey says:

    I’m with you and totally understand. It hurts soo much though. I didn’t think about a journal until you mentioned it. It’s been a long time for me, but I need to start again. These emotions come in a rush , prayers help but honestly I wouldn’t want this gone either. It helps me be more humble and understanding. Great to know I’m not alone.

  5. Joy says:

    Thank you, Jessica, for sharing this! It brought tears to my eyes as it hit home for me. I too have been going through fierce struggles lately (that doesn’t always bring out the best in me). Also, I have only been following you for a short time on Twitter (thanks to Michelle Belanger who mentioned you on there) and from what I have already gathered from there and your website, you are truly an amazing, beautiful and inspiring lady. Take care and much love to you!

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